sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

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    • Caelan simply smiled at Ronan. He started it and Caelan just twisted his words right back around, but he didn't mean to hurt him, Ronan knew that too. Why ere they talking in the first place when they also could kiss? Caelans mouth soon was occupied with kissing patches of Ronans skin while he continued to steady movement of his hips. "Am I that good looking?", Caelan wanted to know, teased Ronan even more who apparently had dreamt of this for months. Caelan wondered if it was like he imagined, he wondered if he was as good as Ronan thought he was, as nice, caring, attractive, whatever it was that drew him to the blonde. "I'm glad.", Caelan said with a slight grin, he was glad Ronan wanted more than just his body and more than just sex, even though now he actually wanted all that. In the end though he wanted to be around Caelan because he liked him, right? Because he was a good friend, there was not much else he wanted more, he wanted to be able to pick Ronan up and make his live a tiny bit more enjoyable.

      "That's why you should be sounding like a girl. Then I have nothing to explain.", Caelan pointed out with a grin and slightly bit Ronans neck teasingly so. He liked listening to Ronan talking when he barely got enough air and couldn't spew a straight sentence. He liked hearing the muffled sounds and those he couldn't hold back. Ronan enjoyed this, didn't he? They both were already sweaty and Caelan clung to Ronan as if he'd drown without him. The arm that was wrapped around him held Ronan in a tight grip and maybe there was even a slight throbbing running through his cheek, but Caelan didn't care. His body was starting to tremble, because Ronan was a lot of work and because he enjoyed this very much. Caelan didn't let Ronan escape, especially not when he pulled back, only to force himself all the way in. He felt Ronans grip on his back, searching for something to hold onto and eventually one hand landed in his hair, grabbing some of it. Caelan liked it when Ronan groaned his name and acted like he was upset about this being actually good. "What? Did you think... I'd be bad at this...?"
    • He got what he deserved and he couldn’t even be bitter about it - two could play this game and Caelan had learned how to adapt pretty quickly, much to Ronans dismay. There were things he couldn’t change anymore, that much was clear, as abundantly clear that this was going to become one of them - a strained chuckle escaped his mouth, one in between many other noises, once he could muster it. Wasn’t it silly to think that the blonde had the ability to turn his entire head upside down, just like that? “You … are pretty … damn hot …”, he forced out from pressed lips, as if it would kill him to either be honest to the guy he called his boyfriend, the one obviously fishing for a compliment right now, or to let a single noise spill out, even though his lips definitely hadn’t been doing the best of jobs in that regard. After all, this wasn’t them trying to see how fast they could go, from start to finish or not, but rather how this would pan out to begin with. “About what? … Not … finishing in … ten minutes?”, Ronan retaliated, giving sass without being asked, but he wasn’t far from the edge anyway, much like the blonde, at least he figured that.

      If he could flare up any more, he just did, the teeth at his ticklish neck almost disrupting everything else - his eyes were wide open when warm breath hit the spot and the feeling of bliss was amplified as Caelans teeth made skin and Ronan couldn’t bite back a moan. “Make … me … then …”, he urged his boyfriend, knowing well enough himself that this wasn’t going to work - Caelan wasn’t going to be able to magically change his voice into something entirely else - but they could dream and he had to practice for the masquerade either way. The rhythm itself was steady, the arm that had wrapped itself around him felt incredible just by being there and being held close to Caelan made it so much better - so much, in fact, he didn’t want him to let go. “I … didn’t … say that … it’s just … too … good to be … true …”, he groaned as he wanted to hide his face somewhere, but he couldn’t - he could only lay there and enjoy what he was being offered, which wound up being the kind of pleasure he chased after for quite a while, yet it felt incredible. “Caelan … I … I’m”, he mumbled between gasps for air, trying to get the blondes attention. What was he? Why was he doing this? There was no way in hell he’d just let it end like that, his body be damned, he’d rather seek pleasure for the rest of the night than finding himself encapsulated in bliss right now. “Caelan”, he mewled, exasperated, hungry for more. “A kiss … Caelan … please.”
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Ronan quite obviously was feeling good and that was all Caelan cared about. He liked sharing this moment with him and already had forgotten that he had to be somewhere else. He didn't care if the Doc came back and pestered him some more, as long as he took his time with it and didn't disrupt them once more. Caelan had no interested in breaking this up sooner than it should end, quite the contrary, he wanted this to last a while longer than it needed to. He listened to Ronan huffing, chuckling and in the end complimenting Caelan for his looks, even though he didn't exactly know what was so special about him. Right now he had a nasty cut on his face, that wasn't exactly hot. "You're much hotter than me...", he said with a slight smirk on his lips and he meant it, even though Ronan wouldn't accept it. He liked his smooth skin, his tender fingers and his red lips that stood in contrast with his pale skin. He especially liked the red color all his limbs took on when his body heated up by what they were doing. "Glad that there's more than... just my body that... I can give you... silly.", Caelan answered with another smile, holding Ronan tight.

      There were more moans that escaped Ronans throat instead of him muffling them and frankly, Caelan didn't care if anybody heard it. He didn't even think about it, he was enjoying hearing Ronan enjoy what Caelan did with him. "Maybe you're... already sounding like a girl...", Caelan joked, maybe even to put Ronan off just a little bit, because he was still cocky, despite being held tight and despite having Caelan press parts of him in and out of him. "You're exaggerating", Caelan huffed, he didn't feel worthy of too much praise, then again Ronan had no experience he could compare this encounter too. Ronan was lucky, wasn't he? He admired Caelan for a while, wished what they were doing now upon himself and somehow it worked out quite easily. "Mhh?", Caelan voiced a noise when he heard his name, but he didn't stop what he was doing. Ronan didn't seem to be able to come to a point, though eventually he did tell the blonde what he wanted. Caelan lifted up his head, briefly looked at Ronan and then kissed Ronan, just like he asked him to. For a while he slowed down, to actually concentrate on Ronans lips and adjust the rhythm to their kiss. His heart was racing, his body was trembling as much as Ronans. He never felt like this while having sex before, but it didn't exactly surprise him, not anymore. After his body recovered a little bit, he however found back to the previous pace soon enough.
    • Caelan was going to murder him, not in cold blood or anything like that - he was just going to kill him by existing, by being irressistible, by ... by ... what now? Keeping his thoughts in a coherent line was never easy, he knew that, he saw that often enough, but right about now it felt as if no matter what he'd do, all of his thoughts ended with Caelan and it only needed the faint realization that they were still, actually, having sex - this was something, wasn't it? Some odd weeks ago, Ronan would have never thought that he'd ever exchange a single word with the blonde in his lifetime, but he had been proven terribly wrong - something he regretted to the fullest, yet couldn't even consider when all his mouth could produce were whines, partially muffled, usually not and some word that sounded oddly like Caelans name, albeit incredibly slurred and usually not even finished. "Noooo", Ronan claimed, his hand pulling on Caelans hair for some support, but there wasn't much eh could do when all of his thoughts were going rampant and the one thing that he was constantly reminded of were those ten minutes, those damn ten minutes they had gone over already, or had they? "I'll ... take ... all of you ... whatever ... it is", Ronan eventually did force out from between his lips, knowing it was barely anything to go off. For now, he didn't care, he didn't want to care - he wanted this, no silly thoughts.

      "That's ... your f-AH!", he winced, unable to bite back a single noise right about now. Hopefully, nobody was standing outside their door, hearing them, hearing what they were doing, especially when they both could hear it loud and clear, when Ronan could feel Caelans body on his own, pressed flush against it and if he could have, he'd made way for him somehow, just to get closer, ever so slightly, even though he already felt sticky and sweaty without having finished just yet. Instead, he lay there, let himself be held, let his hands search for support and absentmindedly listened to what he was being told - he wanted nothing more than for this to go on, maybe even until the entirety of his head was mush, unable to think about much else except Caelan, Caelan, Caelan. That'd be bliss, wouldn't it? "I'm ... not ... you ... you are." What was he even saying? What did it matter, it went in the one ear, out the other and if he wanted to move his mouth in tandem with that and even now try to argue with the blonde, he'd only be able to let himself, there was no chance of holding back either way. Any of his noises were soon muffled by a kiss, one that not only opted to take his breath away but reminded him that he was still trembling, still loving every second of this and once their lips did part and Caelan picked up that stupid pace again, this felt even more agonizing and better at the same time. "Caelan ... please ... I ...", what did he want? He already got a kiss, so there wasn't much else left.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Caelan thought all of this would be harder than it was and maybe he had a little bit scared that he'd lose interest in Ronan, because like all the other times it just didn't feel right. Now he asked himself why he was worried in the first place, of course it felt right with Ronan, who he fell for so easily and who he wanted to spend as much time with as possible, even though even having him sleep in his room was dangerous for both of them Ronan also seemed like he was having fun, like Caelan did the right things, touched him the way he wanted him to and wanted more of this as well. The blonde didn't want to act too fast and ruin something they had already, but they both were young and stupid and in an age where they constantly tried whatever they could do without thinking too much about it. Caelan wanted this time to continue before the harsh reality caught up with them, before either of them was forced to marry some random girl they had absolutely no interest in. Caelan wanted Ronan, no one else.

      Talking with Ronan proved difficult when neither of them could form a sentence and Ronan was just blabbering nonsense to begin with. After the kiss, Caelan pressed his forehead against Ronans. His breathing was ragged, the wound on his face stung a little and he trembled a little bit. Ronan begged him for... something, Caelan wasn't sure what but maybe it was just release and thus he intended to give Ronan just that. He listened to Ronans body, to his voice, his breathing and the things his twitching body told him. He was trying to push him over the edge and at the same time he did the same to himself. He held Ronan a little bit tighter, pressed his body against his own and it was odd not to pull out when he felt a warm and crackling feeling run through his whole body. His body tensed up when he pushed in one last time and right after it felt like all the strength in his body just vanished, but he kept himself up to not burry Ronan unde rhis weight. He just hoped that Ronan was satisfied with him.
    • Caelan was the best that could have happened to him, wasn't he? And here he had been doubting all of this, just all the while the blonde was trying to make this right and have him think about other stuff, about things that Ronan would not once consider to fill his head up with instead - but this idea, which simply sprouted out of desperation, of want and need, had forced itself so far into his skull and brain that, no matter what, it all was just blank and forming a coherent sentence was almost as impossible as thinking about anything that wasn't Caelan. Fuck, when had he become this lopsided to begin with? Not too long ago it seemed, but it was enough for him to pant, to wheeze - to wish for release and feel every nerve in his body being ghastly aflame, his skin feeling like burning, like being singed in quite the good way and everywhere the blonde touched felt nice, incredibly so. What was this, why was this and where would it lead? To long-sought release, of course, even though it wasn't enough, it never would be, not when he was greedy and wanted more than Caelan wanted to give him, all the while he dragged the blonde down to rock bottom with him, to where their exhausted bodies would lay after they became one. In theory, he'd committed a sin, a crime before the gods - had his partner in crime steal from him, but nothing mattered, not when the bubbling feeling of pleasure grew.

      Did Caelan want him to make noise or not? He didn't know, bit his lips hard enough to draw blood when he felt his own body betraying him and his claim of endurance, but it all was in good faith as long as it went somewhere - as long as he got his own cum all over his stomach and probably parts of Caelans body, too, who hunched over him and had ... he had ... the last push was a bit too much as a muffled sound crawled out of his throat and tears had already filled the corner of his eyes. His chest was heaving, he was trying to breathe and licked the strange metallic taste from his dry lips - he wanted one more kiss, but he was too exhausted to ask for one - Caelan had filled him up, was still filling him up and it was ... was it a snug fit? Ronan was thinking too much about too many things and it showed, he was confused and just left gasping for air, now that he wasn't sure what to do, where to go or where to move - instead, he kept looking at his lover, puzzled but longing, probably looking like the mess he was meant to be all along. "I ... enjoyed that", he finally forced out between parted lips. "A lot", he informed him as his legs finally seemed to let go of Caelan for now, sinking to the side - he was spent, this was a bit too much and yet he'd asked for it. With just a bit of strength, he did pull parts of his upper body up, to give the blonde a kiss on the lips, one last one, before almost jokingly asking: "Do you ... want to do this again sometime?" Knowing the answer to a silly question like that already anyway. Ronan took a few moments, just a bit more than what he thought it would, and was glad that the world had sounded like it stopped moving for a moment, too. One of his hands patted the back of the blondes head, almost as if he was unsure about what to do next. "Do you want to lie down? Come here", he ordered the blonde, using his remaining arm to try and pull him down - Ronan was happy, he was smiling, most likely in quite the tired matter himself, but ... he didn't even care about getting anything dirty.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Caelan used his remaining strength to hold his body up as he was panting and grasping for air. He looked at Ronan who still found himself underneath him, equally as beat as it seemed. Caelan was happy, not even the stinging pain of the still not completely healed wound on his face could make him stop smiling. Ronan still held him tight as well, for a little while longer at least and the blonde tried to read Ronans face. Caelans smile grew when Ronan told him that he enjoyed all this, his smile grew again when he added the last part to his sentence. He even blew out some air, almost like a very short chuckle. Ronan let go then, freed Caelan of his grip, though he pushed himself up to kiss Caelan once more. Ronan asked a very stupid question and Caelan shrug his shoulders. "Nah...", he answered with a straight face while he felt Ronans hand at the back of his head and in his hair. Eventually he couldn't contain another smile and slightly shook his head. "It was great. We'll definitely do this again.", he then gave his true answer with another smile.

      Eventually Caelan let himself be pulled down, but first he pulled out and move to the side a little, he felt like it wasn't a good idea to put his whole weight onto Ronan. Then he actually lay down, half of his body over Ronans, his arm loosely reaching over him, one leg between his and his head on Ronans chest. It was nice lying here and hearing Ronans heart beat that fast still. Caelan closed his eyes for now, even though he still knew what he had to do. "I don't wanna go...", he complained, snuggling his face against Ronans chest a little bit more and he didn't even care that it still hurt touching it. He didn't want to get up, dress and walk all the way over to the Doc, he just wanted to lay here and cuddle with Ronan. Right now he could have even taken a nap, even though it was still way too early to go to sleep. Ten minutes were long gone already though, he was pretty sure of that. Also, maybe he should at least try to wash himself before going there, he was all sticky and sweaty and even though he didn't care about the Doc knowing he slept with some mysterious person, he also didn't want to run around the mansion smelling like he probably did.
    • Ronan had wanted nothing more than a quick nap, preferably in Caelans lap, since he had woken up and it had gotten worse when the blonde came here. Now their bodies were strewn across this bed, fluid was trickling off of either of them and he wasn't sure if he felt accomplished, fulfilled or gross - or maybe even all three of those things - while Caelan snuggled up to his sweaty and gross body. Love was a candid thing and when one reached a certain limit of how much they could take, they usually lost themselves to some sort of madness that, by any means, felt as if none of this was real - but life beget suffering and therefore, none of this was half as bad, half as much of a sin as Ronan made it out to be. In the end, it was all in their heads, this kind of love wasn't a special kind of suffering, as much as it was anything that he thought it to be half of the time. Loving Caelan was one thing, breaching boundaries another and if Ronan had any ounce of honesty in his body, he liked this, enough to feel warm and good about all of this, to pet the blondes head and smile, almost content, even if it remained unseen for now. What was he desiring to begin with? Something, anything that gave him an answer to the things he was so unsure of - but none of this mattered for now, as long as it wasn't called Caelan, it was anything but important. "Oh, will we? Maybe I should bet you next time", the young noble chortled under his breath. That'd be some special kind of fun, too.

      Someone finding out about them was one thing, but it definitely would be worse if it were someone that was in cahoots with Darragh - but what did he care? As long as his mother lived and saw his son in him, he was practically safe from just about anything ... except, he never had been safe from the old man that he mistakenly called his father, which only amounted to useless tidbits of disappointment. "You don't?", his voice was soft, he felt tired and keeping his eyes open, watching over the blonde, felt like an impossible feat - like time had slowed down to a crawl and no matter what he did, he bit himself in his own flesh and only figured out that he was somebody entirely else by now because he had stopped disappointing everyone and everything with one swift motion, but that was barely the truth. "Mh, he hasn't come back yet and you didn't keep the promise either way", he instead chimed and closed his eyes for a while. The door was locked, Caelan was warm and in this position, Ronan wrapped his arms around him as best as he could, just to not be forced to suddenly let go. He did feel nice, even if he would have wanted all of this to last a bit longer, but ... it was good the way it had went, he had enjoyed it greatly to begin with. "Let's take a nap, then clean up and then we'll visit the doc.", he proposed. "Hey, Caelan. I love you, you know that, right?", but before he could even wait for Caelans answer, he'd already dozed off, or so it seemed.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Caelan still wondered if he should get up, pick up his clothes, find some water and wash, dress and leave for the infirmary, but he didn't want to. Ronan felt warm and soft, he made a very good pillow and Ronans hand that patted Caelan head felt good too. Ronans and his own breathing calmed down slowly, but Caelan also liked laying on his heaving chest, his head being moved up and down while Ronan tried to catch his breath. His heartbeat which Caelan could here quite clearly now slowed down too. The blonde noble searched for Ronans hand with his own and when he found it, he grabbed it softly, just wanting to hold it for a while. This was nice, usually he felt very different after having sex but with Ronan he just felt calm and satisfied. He didn't have the urge to leave, instead he wanted to stay and being patted more fot the good job he had done apparently. "Whatever you like doing...", Caelan mumbled smiling, even though he felt a little embarrassed by thinking about changing places. He was fine with it though, he was fine with everything Ronan wished for.

      "Of course I don't... I want to stay with you...", Caelan mumbled still complaining. What a question. He didn't want to let go of Ronan and thus he snuggled up even more and slightly squeezed the one hand he held. Ronan sounded tired and Caelan was too, kid of at least. He wouldn't fall asleep probably, but taking a quick snuggled together nap sounded very nice. "He might come... and force me to open up. And then I'll have to hide you under the bed.", he answered. He didn't want to be disturbed, he had absolutely no interest in that and the Doc might come back like he promised. Caelan didn't know him well enough to know. Ronan seemingly wanted to cuddle more too and he didn't want Caelan to go either. He even wanted a nap as well, though in Ronans case a nap easily turned into full blown sleep. He had been tired before, right? "Alright...", Caelan mumbled as answer to this proposal, then let out a "Hm?", when he heard his name again. "I love you too.", he answered but by the way Ronans breathing changed and his heartbeat slowed down it seemed like he already fell asleep. Caelan closed his eyes too and remained cuddled up to Ronan, but he didn't fall asleep. He just dozed off a little bit, but remained aware of his surroundings, softly holding Ronan and drawing little circles on his skin without even noticing it. Maybe he should have gotten up and went to the infirmary, but he didn't want to wake Ronan.
    • Caelans answers felt far off, as if he was unable to receive any of them and Ronan wasn't even wondering why, he was engulfed by darkness soon enough - he had needed some sleep and it only showed now that he was tired. His dreams, however, didn't carry him far, as much as his usually prolonged slumber didn't and once he rose, Caelan was still there, painfully obviously, and they both were still naked, just covered by one of the blankets, barely even, but it had helped prevent him from getting cold. What actually had woken him up, though, was a noise at the door - a knock - and Ronan looked all sorts of groggy enough to just not answer the door. Theoretically, he had no obligation to do so and even thinking about it made him feel uneasy - nobody was pounding on it, yet, Caelan definitely hadn't left the room and it begged the question whatever or not it was Declan - which seemed painfully unlikely - or an unfortunate servant that, by any means, was sent their way to collect the trash that was still left lying around the mansion when everyone else gathered somewhere. Feasibly, Ronan couldn't even answer without sounding like he'd lost his voice - he was exaggerating, probably - his throat felt dry, but that was about it, even when his body hurt in some questionable way as he tried to move just a bit. There was no second knock, maybe it was all in his mind?

      "Sleepyhead, are you okay?", he mumbled, still groggy and busy wiping his eyes, pressing the palms of his hand against them and just rubbing as if he were to try and get rid of something that got stuck within them - there was nothing, just the slow realisation that he'd slept a few hours more, that there was no pesky sunbeams peaking in from behind their curtains and that the young noble and future duke of Fhaergus felt soft, even incredibly warm like this and Ronan, despite his best efforts, felt incredibly welcome to stay in his embrace, to not move and soak up any and all of the warmth he was given, almost as if he was here to do little to nothing else. If this kept going, he'd find himself back in dreamland soon enough and hopefully experience something pleasant he could actually remember, though, maybe that was his punishment for making his reality a dreamscape as it seemed? Ronan doubted it and started stroking over Caelans back as far as his hands could reach - they both didn't smell the best, they needed some cleaning and after that, they could at least try to bother one of the cooks for some more food after he hadn't even finished his breakfast or their plate of fucking strawberries. Ronan peared downward, to footend of the bed and sighed, almost relieved, when he spotted the intact plate of strawberries, sitting there. "Caelan, are you okay? We need a wash ... but I really don't want to move, stop being so comforting", Ronan grumbled, cuddling up to the blonde just then and there.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Caelan lay there, not wanting to wake Ronan up. He didn't think about anything specific really, he just dozed off a little bit and ignored the pounding feeling in his cheek that arose since he just lay on his face like that. He didn't care much about it though. It got darker in the room, the sun faded slowly and eventually Ronan started moving a little. As if he felt that there was someone coming, there was a knock on the door shortly after and Caelan opened his eyes. The Doc had to come back eventually, right? Or it was Declan who wanted to play with Ronan finally, instead of having to put up with his weird friend. "Sleepyhead? You're the one that slept.", Caelan answered with a grin and lifted up his head the look at his boyfriend. He looked tired and wiped his eyes. Once he was done with that however, Caelan felt Ronans hands to be occupied with something else right away. There was not much time for any of this, but Caelan took a moment to wipe a strand of hair out of Ronans face and smile at him.

      "Am I okay? Why wouldn't I be?", he chuckled silently. "I have to answer the door. Stay put." With that Caelan slowly left the embrace and stood up. Once he crawled out of bed he stretched his body a little. Then he grabbed a blanket and put it over Ronans whole body, including his head. "Be silent.", he ordered with a chuckle, then searched for his pants which he put on real fast. He also slipped into a shirt which he sloppily buttoned up, but stopped halfway through and with his foot he shoved Ronans clothes under the bed. Then he moved to the door, trying to fix his hair with one quick swipe and opened up. As he suspected the Doc was there, looking at him somehow mad. "You didn't come.", he pointed out and Caelan leaned against the door, knowing fully well that he looked and smelled like he had sex just now. Which was true and who would stop a noble from doing just that. "I was kind of occupied a little.", Caelan smiled but flinched when the doctor suddenly reached out a hand for his face. "Ouch!", he whined and saw the man sighing. "It's swollen." "Probably because I lay on it, it's fine.", Caelan answered. "Come with me." "Now? Can I at least take a bath befo-" "No, you just won't come again. Come on. Whatever poor girl is in there will find the way out on her own." The doc started walking already. "Poor?", Caelan asked as if he was hurt by that word, then he sighed and closed the door behind him to follow the older man.
    • Caelan and him were right where they belonged - in a bed, together and nothing could ruin this moment, albeit the blonde seemed to be hellbent on answering the door that had emitted a loud knock either way; if it had been Ronan who had to make that decision, he'd have chosen to ignore it, had chalked it up to a vivid imagination and had moved on with his day. In reality, was there really anything he could blame himself for, though? Upon the loss of contact, he whined and the eyes he'd tried to close just earlier were now - even with blurry vision - resting on the man that moved, started dressing himself and threw a damn blanket over him, almost as if he was hastily covering his tracks in the snow to not be found out. Did Ronan like it? Not quite, but he stayed put, refrained from commentary - audible commentary - and let the blonde move on. Soon enough, the doctors voice was came from the door and he started arguing with the older man, as if there was something going on that pissed him off, enough to - apparently - touch somebodies sore face. A heavy, yet barely audible sigh escaped his lips and as he noticed that the heavy door closed behind the two of them and Caelan was not coming back to bed for an extended cuddle session, Ronan bit his lip, to refrain from cursing out the gods and his shitty luck. Well, fuck - where were his clothes? He could wash up at least and then pretend to be mad at someone for this, right?

      How long had they been sitting around in Alsters manor? It had felt as if days had turned into weeks already and while somebody had expressed that they were terribly worried about their son, said son hadn't stopped smiling for quite a while - despite the nasty, still healing more-scar-than-wound on his face and the fact that, if the doctor could see him, he'd make sure he'd stop smiling in an instant, or at least not stretch his grin from ear to ear. Caelan was quite the idiot, but he was Ronans idiot and the mere thought of it didn't help him from holding back a chuckle either - no, he had packed up all of his belongings, everything he needed and wanted to take and had saddled his horse, made sure to attach his baggage accordingly, lest it fell off, only to wonder when Caelan would make his way here - but Ronan didn't have to wait long, either. "And here I thought I'm the one that has trouble getting out of bed?", he questioned, figuring that something or rather somebody else had held the blonde up along the way - and he couldn't blame him. Instead, Ronan pointed towards both of their saddled horses, he just wanted to get out of here for now, despite noticing the gut-wrenching feeling of having to leave behind most of his comfort. Still, he could relaxed around Caelan, rather than alone when Darragh was out and about and the world around him didn't feel like it was painted in black ichor. "How does your face feel? What about you?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • Caelan felt fine, the wound in his face healed up fine, even though it left a big scar behind. Ronan told him it looked fine, it was looking better every day and in the end it maybe looked kind of cool, like he had fought in a serious battle or something. Talking it good helped, right? And Ronan did his best to do just that while Caelan just avoided the topic which was his face. He was healthy though, it didn't really hurt anymore and with time it would grow even less visible. maybe Caelan would start wearing a beard? Though he could forget the spots on his scar to grow any hair probably. Well, it was fine, as of now he was kind of happy to go back home. Not necessarily because he wanted to be back there, but because he finally got Ronan out of way too much work and stress. He was going to give him some time away from all this, for himself to relax. He promised his father some report, but Caelan could have someone else put together the numbers, or his father did it himself anyway, because if it wasn't done by him it probably wasn't right is what he always said. Ronan didn't have to worry about much.

      Right now Caelan finally came back from his last check up the Doc wanted to do before he sent him on his travels. He wanted to make sure he'd make it, though Caelan was feeling like he could have days ago, but whatever. "We slept in the same bed, silly.", Caelan answered with a grin and looked at the saddled horse. He had way less stuff than he probably needed here, since he had planned to stay only a few nights, so there was nothing much to take home now either. "You sound like we hadn't seen each other for days. I'm fine, my face is fine and all of you need to stop worrying. You, the Doc, my parents. I won't die by riding home. I won't even die if I fought in another tournament.", he answered. Did he look like he couldn't take a hit? That wound was nothing to worry about and the threads have long been gone. Nothing opened back up, maybe it was still a little bit red but that was about it. Ronan climbed on his readied horse with ease and waited for Ronan to join him, so they could finally leave for Fhaergus where there was so much to show Ronan. "By the way. Could you imagine me with a beard...?"
    • "I never saw you leave it, though", and that was an obvious lie. Caelan had gotten up before him and definitely had been the one that stirred him from what felt like an eternal slumber - he'd nodded off while pouring over some letter yesterday, but he eventually finished reading it and writing a reply to the recipient, which in this case was Henry. He wrote about the usual things, silly ones at that and Ronan couldn't help but grin like a child that had gotten a special wish fulfilled, or had been presented with the biggest piece of cake their servant could find - still, Caelan caused a similar reaction, though, far more intense over the silliest of things and for a moment, Ronan had mulled over whatever or not he enjoyed all of the extra attention he was handed that way or if none of that was feasible and workable in the first place. Right now, however, they stood out here and he was fairly sure that the spring breeze had gotten lighter, warmer than he had last felt it - and he wanted nothing more than to take off and act like he was living in a picture book, even just for a few hours, just to escape the reality he seemed to loathe so much. Was it really that? After all, he had Caelan by his side and many ideas creeping into his head all of a sudden - this trip was nothing to feel bad about, in fact, he looked forward to it.

      "I'm just checking in. It looks fine, but you have to tell me if something's up, okay? It's still my fault", he informed the blonde, almost as if he was quite clearly still upset over the fact that yes, he'd fucked up in more ways than one and yes, he was going to make it count somehow, even when they got ready to leave behind Alster and its noisy capital for something more fun, yet quite cold. "You better don't die, I'm coming with you after all ... and as long as your imaginary beard doesn't give me beard burn, I'll allow it. Anyway, try growing one." He couldn't imagine Caelan with a beard, it just looked goofy in his head and almost as if he needed to get that picture out of his head, he got his horse to start moving, but he couldn't quite ride all the way from here to Fhaergus alone, just because he had the bright idea to escape some sort of mental image that the blonde had planted in his head. Once Caelans horse moved to and they finally left Ronans home behind them, he thought once more about it - it still sounded silly, albeit for seemingly all the wrong reasons. "Why, though? You're not going to look less attractive just because you have some more hair on your face. But I think it's similar to the silly question of whatever or not you could imagine me with short hair." That would feel odd - it hadn't been short in a good long while, despite the fact that he almost always tried to at least tie it up somehow and keep it out of his face, there were some instances where he definitely couldn't or wouldn't. "It would just look unfamiliar, uncanny, weird and you know why? Because we're not used to it."
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "Because you're the sleepyhead, as always.", Caelan chuckled. Well he did need clearance from the Doc before he could leave, even though the trip was planned in advance already. Caelan got a letter from his parents, telling him they worried. Well they probably did, but as soon as he was home and they saw he was fine his father would just scold him for ruining his face in a stupid tournament that was very unnecessary. He wanted to show Fhaergus to Ronan, but he didn't look forward to meeting his parents. It was always the same, when around other people or even when just writing a letter - which didn't happen too often - they were all nice and loving and when Caelan actually returned back home they constantly were nagging about him, or at least his father did. Either way, it would be better with Ronan around and they'd treat him like the most precious person in the world, Caelan was sure of that. He'd feel welcome somehow, maybe even more than in his own home where he had a father that seemed to hate him for no good reason.

      "Stop worrying. We talked about it, it's not your fault. I should have been able to block or dodge that attack, but I didn't. Besides, it doesn't look that bad on me, right?" Ronan needed to stop blaming himself for what happened. It did happen and that was that, there was nothing much they could do about that anyway. "We'll both be fine.", he emphasized once more. He didn't sound too excited about a beard though. Ronan made his horse move soon after and Caelan followed suit, even though he rode next to him soon enough. The way was just following the road, even though Caelan planned on a detour to that secret hut of his. He told Ronan he'd show him the way so he'd always have a place to go to, right? It wasn't far off track anyway. "So you're saying you won't like it, but get used to it at some point? Well, it was just a question and I bet there won't be any hair on that scar. Either way, please don't cut your hair or grow a beard.", he replied. Ronan with a beard? No way, he probably couldn't even grow one if he tried.
    • "Oh, my apologies for feeling like I'm undead after a whole eight hours of sleep. Maybe you could try waking me up with a bang, though", Ronan snorted, not even knowing what he really wanted of Caelan in the first place. Getting him out of bed was not the easiest task and that made all of this worse was the sudden and very, incredibly apparent fact that he could get mad over nothing, or not at all - it mainly was like playing some crude game of whatever or not he was in the mood to indulge somebody and their silly requests or not. However, Caelan seemed to not mind - or at least obviously avoid said situations and it made Ronan wonder if he'd ever lashed out at him, or if there was a certain reason for that, but maybe he just tried to please him, too, with the silliest of behaviors like the people pleaser he seemingly was. "The scar looks good on you, which I can't believe I'm saying, and I definitely won't give you more, but ... give me some more time and I'll come to appreciate it wholly." Truth be told, he found Caelans scars hot, nothing new, but he also knew that no matter what, he couldn't just blurt stuff like that out in front of some unfortunate, gossip-loving servant that could have heard and interpreted whatever they liked into a simple compliment.

      Did it matter all that much, though? Ronan wasn't sure, he felt as if there was no reason to actually figure this out for himself or think too much about it - he just wanted to not be reminded of a painfully obvious mistake on his part and Caelans goofiness, as well as the fact that he was a people pleaser through and through. "It's just hard to imagine you with something you don't have ... right now. You can't hold it against me if I shave it off, especially when you get older, it's just going to look incredibly silly. Especially if you only grow a mustache ... for gods sake Caelan, stop giving me ideas", he particularly begged as he tried to get the vivid and silly imagination out of his head. This was horrible, everything his mind produced just seemed like a silly little rendition of the blonde with all kinds of beards, one shittier than the other - he was going to have nightmares. "If you grow a beard, I'll grow one too, that's only fair. Besides, the way you're saying this sounds as if you are going to curse yourself for accidentally cutting off a strand of my hair. Come on, short hair isn't going to kill me and neither is a beard." In fact, the worst enemy he had - aside from Darragh - was still himself and that was something he'd not mention right now, this wasn't the time and place for a conversation like that and Caelan made him feel better, as well as the premise of being away from home would be. "How long is the ride even going to be?" How long could they talk about not growing beards anyway?
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "Eight hours is plenty of time to sleep.", Caelan chuckled, but that was all he said about it. Sometimes it was hard to get Ronan out of bad and he always looked tired, thus Caelan wanted him to rest. Yet on other occasions he got outright mad at Caelan for not throwing him out of bed earlier. It was a slim line to tiptoe on. "I won't ask you to give me more, don't worry!", Caelan laughed. He just hoped Ronan meant what he said and the scar looked somewhat good on him. He also hoped he'd at some point get over the fact that he did that to Caelan, even though they argued about whoms fault it was more than once. Caelan didn't want to make Ronan feel bad, only because he looked at him. He didn't want to hurt him by just looking like he did, he didn't want to hurt Ronan at all to begin with. In the end however, he surely would get used to it, much as he would get used to a beard if Caelan tried to grow one. He wasn't sure about that though, it was just a silly idea and thought.

      "I won't grow a mustache!", Caelan laughed out loud. How did Ronan even get that idea? If anything he just would let the hair grow out and do nothing about it, that was all. But that wouldn't hide the scar and thus it was pretty useless and probably made him look ten years older, which he didn't want. "Oh god no, please. I take it back then. No beard for either of us!", Caelan answered. Ronan would just look incredibly weird with a beard, he didn't have the face for it at all. "I may be able to live with short hair, since now you have them tied up most of the time too, but a beard? On you? I can't imagine that." Ronan could do whatever he wanted, but in this case Caelan hoped he wouldn't just try and change his style. He liked him the way he was and while he meant it when he said he could also imagine him with short hair, he also meant that a beard was out of question. "Did you never travel to Fhaergus before?!", Caelan asked with another laugh, especially since Alsters capital and Fhaergus weren't even that far apart. They were actually pretty close to each other, they just had those big mountains in between. "Well I suggest we hurry up and stay the night at that one inn at the foot of the hill. Then we can either hurry up some more and hope that the pass and the weather are nice to us, or we make the detour to that hut that I wanted to show you and stay another night there."
    • "Not enough for me, apparently.", he made clear and if he was honest, maybe it had been and maybe just liked pretending it wasn't for quite a few reasons - sleeping with the blonde by his side proved comfortable and now that he had actually done so for a few weeks, he wasn't even sure what he would do without this goofball by his side. Going back to bemoaning his own existence was one option, not exactly a valid one but it was something and while he did hope he'd never do that again, he wasn't sure if Caelan was something that would help him in that regard - just because he knew the blonde, had someone to make a fraction of his life better than he thought it was up until now, didn't meant that he'd fix it completely. It was like putting a bandaid on a gaping fleshwound, wasn't it? "I hope you don't because I definitely won't!", he clarified immediately, but he meant it - there was plenty of skin that he could carve scars into, but none of it belonged to Caelan and with all those stupid thoughts looming over his head, Ronan grumbled, knowing fully well that neither him or Caelan wanted him to have them, this seemed stupid and he knew as much, but he couldn't help himself, couldn't change aspects of himself. "You better don't or I'll really shave it right off! Caelan of Fhaergus, if you do, I'm divorcing you.", Ronan joked, trying to get into a different headspace.

      "What are you even going to do if I turn out to be able to grow a beard and you don't?" Ronan was fairly certain that he could - or theoretically just because his father sported one messy beard - but he couldn't blame Caelan for assuming - or hoping - he wouldn't, just because it didn't fit his milquetoast looking face. Then again, he could always shave it off or let it grow out, just to annoy that boyfriend of his and now that said thought was planted into his head, he barely could get enough of it. "Then I should help your imagination by actually growing one, how does that sound? Though, I can compromise and just cut off my hair after the masquerade", he proposed, meaning that no matter what, he'd pull through with it eventually, right? And if he didn't, he was sure that Caelan wouldn't actually hold it against him without stating why beforehand - he liked his long hair anyway, at least it seemed that way. "I did, sometimes, in a carriage, but it's so damn cold there, I barely wanted to go! That's why I'm asking how long this is going to be via horseback!" Not being tied to a carriage and having to pull it around was going to help with the missing speed, at least Ronan thought it would and no matter what, he'd not want to freeze his ass off out here, on the pass leading all the way to Fhaergus. "I guess it's inn and then the hut, huh? At least it's not going to take fucking forever, so that's a plus." Another hut wasn't something bad, either. "How cold is it in Fhaergus right now anyway?"
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
    • "You have the sleep rhythm of a child.", Caelan pointed out with a chuckle. There was so much time of the day missing if one slept for too long so he normally avoided that, though there were also occasions where he was fine with sleeping in, especially so if Ronan was with him and they could just cuddle a little while longer. They had even less to fear in Fhaergus when they spent their nights together and so they would have some more nights next to each other. Caelan already knew he'd miss Ronan in his arms when he left to go back to Alster. "I'm good at doing something stupid to get some of my own anyway.", Caelan replied with a short laugh. He already had plenty of scars and all of them he had because he did something reckless, or didn't pay attention. Ronan already knew some of these stories, others he didn't yet. The most prominent one, next to the one on his face was probably the one on his side where that stupid boar stabbed him. That had also been the closest call, everything else had been fine. Sure it did hurt, but it wouldn't have killed him. His father always said he'd day someday because he was being reckless. "You'd need to marry me first.", he then pointed out with a grin. "Would you? Marry me I mean." It was a little early for that, leaving out the fact that two men couldn't marry in the first place, but he still wanted to know.


      "That's not going to happen.", Caelan explained calmly. He was very sure about that. He couldn't say exactly why, it probably was a stupid reason though. "I don't even want to know I think.", Caelan chuckled. Could they stop talking about beards? Ronan probably would look so very odd with one and also a lot older. Beards weren't very in in Adrestia though, Caelan knew almost no one who had one, not even their fathers generation fancied them mostly. "It's not that cold in summer", Caelan retaliated. Sure it wasn't as warm as anywhere else, but they didn't have snow all year round. "Also traveling via carriage is always a pain. You never know what the weather does to the pass, it's much easier by horse." If there was a roadblock, or some part of the pass that sank, someone needed to fix that before a carriage came through. Fhaergus employed people to do that regularly, but they didn't check every spot every day. "It's not that cold. The snow should have molten away in the valley. We'll see some snow while traveling over the mountain pass though."
    • "I'm not even eightteen and here I get chastised for not sleeping properly by a guy who doesn't even know what the word curfew means.", Ronan insisted soon thereafter. Did Caelan know what it meant, though? If anything, he wasn't sure and it only furthered his suspicion of Caelan being quite the rowdy son, someone that was, by no means, meant to be left alone, lest he'd spend the entire night staying wide awake and bothering anyone around him that he could find. Was this normal behavior? Even if, Ronan wasn't the one that would've been annoyed by it, actually, he would appreciate someone that had nothing else to do but keep him company on nights that he really couldn't sleep and found himself tossing and turning. "At least take me with you the next time, I want some as well." Ronan of Alster did want scars, he had made that incredibly apparent the first time he'd met his fellow noble and yet, he wasn't even sure if he should - there was nothing worth thinking about, as much as there was nothing that related to scars that, by any means, should have helped him in some way or form. Sometimes, scars just were a nuisance when they were wounds and after years of having them, they wound up hurting again, impacting the one that was as unfortunate as to sport them in the first place. "Hmm, if you keep me company until the end of time and feed me grapes per hand, I don't see why not."

      In the end, they couldn't marry, no matter what - even if he decided to pose as a woman, somebody would eventually catch wind of the situation when he found himself unable to produce an he- what on earth was he thinking about? They were seventeen, and while some of their peers were eventually going to get married, it almost felt like a goddamn feverdream to even think about at an age like this. Truthfully, Ronan didn't know an answer to anything that he asked himself, but questioning all of it all the damn time felt wrong, too, which was why he just shut up for now. "Fine, fine. I'll laugh at you if you never grow a beard, though, but if you do, I'll shave it right off.", the noble threatened, almost as if he'd prefer the first option - something that would turn out to be nothing but a victory for him, right? Whatever the case, even if Caelan grew a beard, Ronan wasn't enclined to like it, just like Caelan wasn't inclined to like him with short hair. "So, if we want to have a snowball fight we should do it while we're at the pass and not after?" That seemed to be another childish antic Ronan couldn't quite explain, something that just slipped out of his mouth now that he found time to actually relax and realize that no, Darragh was not watching all of his steps in the first place. "Tell that my parents, they always insist on going everywhere in a carriage, but yours are probably not much better." Like hell they were.
      Looking back, it maybe is like the toy carts you rode when you were a kid. But those toy carts could never go beyond the walls of the lawn. We want to follow the rugged concrete road beyond the wall. As we've grown, we've decided to leave behind the toy cart.
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