sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

Earinor · 4. Oktober 2020, 19:49

The discussion turned a little bit more serious again, but Caelan didn't mind, in fact he answered honestly as he always seemed to do with Ronan. "To be fair, I was a little bit like you when I was younger, but... we can talk about it, but not in a crowd of people, you'd want to avoid our usual topic too as long as someone listens, right?", he asked. He had no problem with sharing his past, but he couldn't exactly do that in the middle of so many nosy people in which someone surely would listen in and started spreading rumors nobody wanted around. "I like how you admitted defeat and know that you'll not get rid of me that easily. We'll be friends for a while, yes." He grinned again. Though he did play an act a lot, his smile mostly was true, he wasn't some little nerve ball inside, or depressed, or angry, he didn't feel those things mostly, he was pretty good in enjoying what life offered him, even if it wasn't what he really wanted."Nah, we talked about some story awhile back, Cameron exaggerating as usual, but who am I to ruin his date?", he answered and rolled with his eyes, he actually didn't have anything against that per se, but today he just wanted to get away from that girl. Maybe he just didn't like her at all, which was rare. "Uhm...? Can you please rather say something like... 'But Caelan, I feel all alone and I need some support while dealing with new people,please take care of me?' And if it's just to save me from that girl. Don't give me a pass to do what's right, though I feel caring about your well being pretty much is too, after all I dragged you here." The voice he used for his reenactment was so not Ronan, it was too high pitched and somewhat girly, but it didn't matter that much, did it?

"It's funny because it's true!", Caelan laughed, explaining why he still grinned. He also was happy Ronan kept having fun and it'd remain like that a little while longer. But there was what Caelan wanted to see, Ronan startled, his cheeks flashing up, turning red and his eyes trying to find a way out. Caelan didn't know why, but he loved seeing Ronan like that and he did figure him out apparently. The words Ronan said sounded somehow sweet, he liked Caelan being warm? Well fine. Caelans grin grew broader and broader the more Ronan said, admitting getting red and being it too right now. "I wonder why's that?", he asked without expecting an answer. "Yes after all I just heard I want to use the debt you owe me on exactly that. So tell me!", Caelan demanded. "You said you'd do anything." Ronan shouldn't have said that. "And stop worrying I'll shift the blame on you, as much as you I'm not a child, I can decide for myself if I'm drinking or not." Going back to this girl wasn't something Caelan wanted and he was glad Ronan didn't pick up on it. Also he found it wuite funny how he described her and he felt like he grinned for almost ten minutes straight now, his cheeks would start to hurt. "Your room? Isn't it my role to get them into my room and let me into their pants?", he laughed, not sure if Ronan had an uterior motive, probably not. "Whereever is fine, you pick. As long as you don't drag me back to my actual date."

marquis · 4. Oktober 2020, 20:09

They both were out of their minds, that much was for sure - and Ronan didn't mind. This evening was bound to get a lot more interesting than tomorrows tournament and he should enjoy the time he still had with Caelan, after all, they'd eventually have to go back to their respective countries and be holed up there until someone finally decided to host a new event that both of their houses were invited to. Ronan wouldn't go, at least that was, what he had told himself, but if he didn't scare Caelan away tonight, maybe he had the chance to actually swallow his social anxiety down for once and go, even if it was to just see the blonde noble. "Well, you don't strike me as a depressed mess, but I trust you ... we should, probably, go somewhere else. Can't talk that much about ourselves when nosy bastards are listening, after all", Ronan sighed, painfully aware that they were not - in fact - alone, sitting at a lake and enjoying the view, marbling at the stars and going for a late night swim. As much as he loathed Caelan yesterday, it all came back today, albeit differently and softer - way softer. "Then we should definitely get drunk to celebrate our new shackles", he said, knowing all too well that he shouldn't be excited about another pair of them - that it didn't matter how much he liked Caelan, because they would be bound to one another. "Well, fair enough, at least you're nice and aslo ... I don't sound like that! Urgh. Take care of me and don't take your eyes off of me, will you, darling?" Maybe this would actually surprise Caelan, especially the slightly higher pitched voice.

"Unfortunately it is, yes!", he growled. Ronan had already reached his limit of pleasantries and stupidity for the night, but he wasn't going to tell Caelan to cut it out, instead he'd have fun with him, whether his head allowed it or not, this wasn't going to get to him just because he felt like he had to get pissed at him - he was free to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it, damnit! If he could just drag the blonde back to his bed, this was going be fine - and he'd have his own kind of fun with him, given they both were drunk and willing enough to do stuff like this. "Why's what?!", he asked, plate in one hand, bottle of glass in the other and a lot more bullshit in his head than he thought he'd have - wasn't he just overthinking things, or was this all reality? "I'll tell you when we're not ... here, I don't want anyone else to hear all of this", Ronan sighed, before he already stepped forward and made his way for his own room, but keeping watch on Caelan so he'd actually follow him upstairs and away from the crowd. "I will, trust me - I'll not go back on my word, you know." Caelan was the one that had said he'd do anything and started this whole mess, did he not? Now, this was bound to get a lot more interesting, especially if he could drag him to his room, just like that. "Good, we'll just blame each other for being stupid and childish", Ronan hissed, as if this were all that easy - they both would, eventually, just get as drunk as they could and fuck up, that was at least what he predicted and as fate would want it, maybe. "Do I look like some kind of desperate girl to you that can't wait to be brought back to your room and get fucked?" Maybe he was the one trying to get in Caelans pants after all. Once they had arrived at his room, he pushed the door open, let Caelan in and set down his plate at a small table facing the window, complete with two chairs, before he walked back over to the door and closed it behind Caelan. "So I'm just your back-up date? You wound me, my dear."

Earinor · 4. Oktober 2020, 20:35

Too many ears were listening here, maybe not even on purpose but hearing something they shouldn't and couldn't forget anymore. Caelans father was probably here as well finally, lurked somewhere, talked to strengthen relations and hopefully wasn't out to search for his son and ask him what he's doing. If he would hear Caelan talk about him badly, he wasn't sure what would happen, maybe Caelan wouldn't be allowed to go anywhere anymore, though he should try stopping him... "So getting drunk is our goal suddenly? Good.", Caelan laughed and laughed even louder after hearing Ronans acting. "I didn't know you were capable of doing something like that.", he said while he even felt tears forming in the corner if his eyes, if he wasn't careful, he'd drop his food. Ronan could be a really funny guy, Caelan wouldn't have thought so after yesterday, but today he met a completely new side of him and he liked it, even as much as to forget his friends and date and rather spend the evening with Ronan alone.

"I'm asking why you turned all red.", Caelan explained with a smirk on his face and kept on grinning still. "Oh? It's a secret? All uicy and dirty? Are you gonna tell me your darkest thoughts?", he asked with a conspiratorial voice, whispering almost, well as much as a drunk was still able to whisper. "Okay, I'll trust you, but I'll remind you of it, when we're alone.", he said, shaking his head yet again. "Nobody is blaming anyone. If I drink, I do it because I want to and not because you made me to!", he proclaimed once again, Ronan didn't have to worry. Caelan was seventeen years old, he was able to decide for himself, new how much he could handle and when he should stop. If he didn't stop, it was his own decision and the consequences were his as well. Was Ronan in fact looking like a depserate girl? No. And yet Caelan said "Maybe?" just to annoy Ronan. Finaly they were going, leaving the people and the noise behind them and walking upstairs to find the bedrooms. Caelan stepped into Ronans room, which pretty much looked exactly as his own, just mirrowed and he as well set his plate on the table, looking at Ronan joking again. As soon as Ronan closed the door and came back to the little table they were bound to eat on, Caelan grabbed his hand, put a kiss on the back of his hand and smiled his most charming smile, which didn't seem to loose any charme only because he was slightly drunk. "You're always my number one, my dear.", he answered, waited for a second, then let go, smiled and sat down to finally get some food into his system."Enjoy your meal!"

marquis · 4. Oktober 2020, 21:33

The one and only thing he could be glad about was the absence of his father and mother, about any kind of guardian that would be on the lookout for him and force him back into his shackles that he had freed himself from, just so that he could act like he was nothing more than the good son that everyone desired. Ronan knew, well enough, that he wasn't and that all of his behavior was caused by his problems - that he was nothing more than someone with an attitude problem, that sometimes felt like he owned the world and other times so miserable that he was nothing more than a slave to the whims of fate. "Yes, to take away the pain and have more fun", he proposed, in tune with the good mood that had been struck up between the two of them. Who cared what he was? Why was he concerning himself with being a mud, not Darraghs son and inevitably attracted to men? All of these things wouldn't matter once he became duke, he would be someone he never had been before and while he didn't anticipate his future demise, it had to happen. "I just wanted to make you feel better for ditching that sheet of paper, you know", Ronan said, knowing well enough that everything but that had been his intention.

"Because ... urgh, can't I turn red without a reason? Be honest, you want me to turn all read!", he hissed, knowing very well that this had to be Caelan's ulterior motive. But if he really, truly, enjoyed teasing him or was just playing with him for the sake of having a fiddle, waiting to be played, was beyond him - Ronan didn't care, at least for now, whatever Caelan wanted to do, he would be allowed to, as long as he himself gained some enjoyment from it, however little it may be. "Maybe, maybe I'm just going to scratch the surface and have you dig as deep as you can", the lone wolf mused. The blonde was at his disposal and if he didn't know better, he had more than enough chances to take whatever he desired, whenever he did - how pitiful he was, to think that he'd have to resort to something like this. "Fine, I'll accept that." But then again, he was the one getting teased here and it was painfully obvious that Caelan had the upper hand to begin with, no matter how much he tried to best him. "Watch your tongue before I cut it off", he growled, as he had heard what Caelan responded - and yet, he wasn't wrong, but still managed to piss off Ronan. Caelan was, to put it lightly, unbelievable. The faint kiss on his hand and the sudden movement that preceeded it, however, made his cheeks flare up once more - oh, now he'd had it. "You're unbelievable!" His teeth were gritted as he sat down and looked at his own plate, grabbing knife and fork and cut his meat. "Likewise", Ronan scoffed, as he shoved a piece of meat in his mouth - somewhat angrily - chewed it and then swallowed. "So, for my deep, dark secret - you were the one that said you'd do anything and I'm just saying, don't do it, unless you want me to tell you to kiss me, you fucking fool."

Earinor · 4. Oktober 2020, 21:54

"I appreciate that.", Caelan laughed, he actually didn't feel bad for ditching that girl, after all he didn't want her as a date to begin with, Cameron dragged her along and he was pretty sure, that he'd have to explain something, when they saw again. Or maybe Cameron turned the tables and fucked both of them, then he couldn't be mad at Caelan, could he? Anyway, Caelan didn't want to go back to his girl, to his friends maybe, but as long as the possibility of being stuck in a meaningless discussion was given, he would rather stay here with Ronan and spend time with him. It didn't matter if they kept on being stupid, laughing and drinkin, or if he was to tell him about his past after all, it really didn't, he had fun either way, even if the topics got serious like the day before.

"Yes I admit that. I think it's funny to see you all flustered as if you really have a crush on me.", he smiled cunningly and looked at Ronans face for a moment. "You know you are pretty cute when you're getting red? Or when you're angry?", he asked, keeping up the sweettalk, because it was actually true what he just said. He did it yesterday too, as much as now, so it couldn't have been the alcohol and still he wasn't sure why he kept going like this and how much of it was still a joke to him and to Ronan. "Mh, I like juicy details, tell me what's going on inside your head." Again Caelan grinned, even more when Ronans cheeks had a faint red color again and an angry look found it's way on his face. Caelan started eating, he didn#t try to sit straight, he just ate how he falt was comfortable and kept looking at Ronan who had a little of an outburst just now. "It's not the meats fault.", Caelan laughed, looking at how brutally Ronan ate his food. What followed was... surprising? So surprising in fact that Caelans food tried the wrong way in his body and he started to cough to get the piece of meat bag up to swallow it the right away. "You want me to kiss you?", he asked, after being able to breath again. Did he just mishear that or was that what Ronan was saying just now? Why though? "Are you shitting me? I mean... I had it coming I guess." Maybe that was some form of retribution? After all Caelan started this game of flirting and coming close, Ronan had to retaliate somehow, didn't he?

marquis · 4. Oktober 2020, 22:25

"That's good to hear", Ronan answered. But was it really that Caelan just didn't care for some headless, noble lady that would talk and absorb all the stupid stories that were fed to her like literal facts, in hopes of one day marrying one of the guys she slept with, or was it just to rid herself of her own boredom? Ronan wouldn't know, everything he knew in that regard came from shitty tales of some of his own - supposed - friends and their adventures, or even some books that he had snagged quite some time ago. Thinking about spending the night with a man seemed abyssmal at first, but later on, he'd realized that - while books weren't able to actually corrupt him - they weren't so wrong about carnal desires and the fact that not everyone was equal, that it shouldn't be shameful to be who he was and that he shouldn't have his right to life denied like that. However, not everyone was as likeminded as the Wolves of Thria tended to be, or some of his own, writing books that nobody ever published, just for him to find them while digging through someones belongings when his father was - in fact - buying the entire mans wealth to get rid of his debts. "Caelan, we're both men - why on earth would I have a crush on you? Or do you think I'm lying to you and actually, truly, a girl?", he asked, contradicting his own feelings. Yes, he had a crush, yes, Caelan of Fhaergus was good at making him blush like a damsel who wanted nothing more than to have her lover take her to bed, but no, he couldn't admit all that.

His mouth felt uncomfortably dry, even when he ate, before he looked at the blonde, again, confused. "Oh am I now? Well, thank you kind sir - I didn't know you were the one trying to get me to get in your pants", Ronan retaliated, still eating like the meat and vegetables on his plate were at fault for all his problem - as if the world revolved around that, as if this was all that he had to blame. "If I did, you could take two routes - I'll get depressed and end as a crying mess in one of these corners or I'll be pissed off, so pick your poison if you really want to hear any of this, because you sure as hell don't." Oh no, Caelan did not - he didn't want to know that it was Ronan that was crushing on him, that Darragh wasn't his father or that he was, in fact, not all that bad in the thrian language. "It might as well be!", he sighed, before he stopped to massacre his own food and leaned back, staring at the plate before him and the mess he'd made of it - because, of course he did and of course Caelan had actually pissed him off. "I- Sorry", Ronan sprung up and patted Caelans back, just for a second, even if it was already too late anyway. "I was trying to make a joke, didn't know you'd get it ... in the wrong throat. You okay?", was what he had mustered, still standing by the blondes side. "Urgh, yes, I am shitting you. What I was trying to say, don't say stuff like that for shits and giggles, or you'll end up with someone like her, at your doorstep, demanding you give her a ring, your hand in marriage and her firstborn son - just don't offer yourself up all that fast, okay?"

Earinor · 4. Oktober 2020, 22:47

Caelan never really had any feeling or any girl he had spent time with, Cameron was the one dragging them to him and Caelan was the one trying to do what was expected of him. He also tried to feel what was expected of him, he wanted to find a girl attractive, really want to kiss and touch her, while he also wanted to talk, really talk, like he talked with Ronan. Yet he was know for not wanting that, though he did and he was yet to meet a girl with which it was so easy to talk about everything as it was with Ronan. Sure he got angry, grumbled and frowned, but it was possible to tell him what he was going through, while he very much listened himself as well, tried to help even. He laughed again, though it was a little bit weaker because he was wound up in his own thoughts. "No, no I don't think you're a girl, after all I saw parts of you already and that was pretty much a mans body.", he said, shaking his head. "It was just a joke.", he added, smiling and leaving the topic be, he maybe he finally went too far.

"Well I deserved that one I guess.", Caelan smiled, letting this slide as well, Ronan seemed a little bit on edge all of a sudden, maybe Caelan was better off giving him some room to breath, just for a while. "You know, I won't force you to tell me anything, though I'm listening if you want me to, you know that already I guess. I'm also capable of dealing with you being angry, if it makes you feel better. In case you want neither of that, let's just talk about something else, or... maybe we could play something when we're done with the food.", he proposed, looking at his plate and somehow missing something. "You wanna have dessert afterwards? I could get both of us something?", he asked, he usually wasn't eating all too sweet, but now he kinda wanted something. The kissing joke hit Caelan hard and he smiled at Ronan, after he wanted to help him, though he dealt with the food in his throat himself. "No need to apologize, I'm making my jokes, you#re making yours.", he said, his voice a little scratchy, but it would be fine in a few minutes. "Pun intended?", he asked, smiling again and trying to ease up the mood. "Are you lecturing me? Well I can't say you're wrong. Maybe I'll try being less... well... me, I guess. I..." He sighed, why was he getting so serious all of a sudden? Women should be a topic he liked, they both liked, but no, it always felt so forced, Caelan hated it and didn't know what to make of it. So Ronan got him and he... should he stop being so pushy towards him? Why was he even doing that. "You know what, we should open up that bottle of wine, I feel all sobered up already and I kinda don't want that."

marquis · 4. Oktober 2020, 23:03

His parents had tried, maybe once or twice, but the outcome was always pretty much the same - Ronan didn't care for the girl and they caught on sooner than later, taking their time to get some distance between themselves and the young, hotheaded noble that sometimes could look lie he was - indeed - deadset on murdering someone. At first he had felt obligated to care for them, for their beauty or whatever it was supposed to be, but they all looked like mere pieces of flesh to him that he left for the others to ravage - he was shy, he could use that as an excuse and when he wasn't, he hadn't even bothered to feign interest. Soon enough, rumors would have caught wind, but Darragh had done his best to get all of them to be silent, had told them that his son might be looking for something, for someone else - and put the blame on the young women he had dragged to his good for nothing son, rather than him. "It's alright, I mean, as easy as I am to piss off, I won't hold it against you, so feel free to say whatever is on your mind", and maybe he was just jealous of all the people his age and their bodies, of the fact that Caelan looked so much better than he did and not built like a young girl that yet had to grow - he felt stupid enough, but it just ... was frustrating.

"Oh yes you did", the young noble laughed, happy about the fact that for once, he had done what he wanted to do and that this all was in good faith, rather than a cruel little joke that had been meant to expose him - that was something Ronan never doubted. Someday he'd put his faith into someone that ended up betraying him and running their mouth and maybe, just maybe, it was better to sever all those ties to the living world before things like that transpired. "I don't think today is a good day to talk about myself, but what about you? You barely have told me anything and I can't force you to, but you know, the same applies to you - whatever may bother you, I'm willing to hear it, alright?", he had proposed, before he glanced to his plate on the other side of the table. "What do you suggest? Another card game? Or something else? You wanna go stargazing?" Their possibilities were endless, especially if they wanted to stay out of harms way and out of reach for Caelan's friends, who - for one - he was happy that they were not here. Now he had the noble all to himself and yet, Ronan was unsure. "Uh, sure? I mean, I don't have a sweettooth usually, but I could use something", that was a flatout lie - Ronan of Alster liked sweets more than he should, but he rarely indulged in them, just because he wasn't taking training all that seriously anyway. "Pun intended, but I'm glad you're alright", the noble sighed as he looked at Caelan and slowly took his own hand off of his back. "I'm giving you advice, or you'll end up just like that with someone you don't love - whatever you follow it or not is up to you", maybe this would also finally be confirmation that the little crush that he had developed was, well, better of dying off now, rather than growing into something he could no longer control. Ronan liked Caelan, for fucks sake, he liked men and not women. Why the hell was this so hard to admit? "Agreed, but I'm not even drunk to begin with, so I guess I should, too", he laughed, as he grabbed the bottle and opened it up, handing it to Caelan. "We didn't bring glasses ... should I get some?"

Earinor · 4. Oktober 2020, 23:29

"You know, Orlando struggled to see me startled and yet you managed that as well as you managed to have Ethan fear to loose. You are something Ronan of Alster, you really are.", Caelan smiled, trying to find back to his usual carefree self and just smile as he always did, because it made life easier. "That's... very sweet of you, though my troubles probably can't compare. I... I could tell you what I started to talk about before at the buffet, about me being a little bit like you before becoming who I am now, maybe... it helps you. Well, maybe we could actually do that outside, looking at the stars, what do you think? I'm sure we'll find a quiet place somewhere off the property?", he asked, though on second thought maybe it wasn't such a good idea. "But I don't want to run into Cameron or that girl... we can also stay here, no... nevermind actually. Just pick anything, I'll get us some glasses and some sweets, meet you back here and you'll tell me what we'll do. Maybe you can dig up some cards in here as well, just in case we get bored." Since when was he so hesitant and undecided, he usually knew exactly what he was going to do and now he felt all riled up for some reason. Aftermath of Ronans joke maybe? But why did it startle him so very much and why did he keep thinking about it, after all he didn't say no. Why didn't he?

Stargazing was something not on Caelans mind but as soon as Ronan said it, Caelan was all ears, he really liked the idea to look at the stars with him again, with someone that appreciated the nightsky as much as he did and maybe he could tel him some stories and show him some more constellations. Staying here would be fine too and the chances of running into Cameron were very very slim, if not not existing at all. Caelan swallowed the last of his food in one go, he was able to eat rather fast, there was no doubt in that and he kind of wanted to get it behind him. Then he stood up, to actually sneak about, get some glasses and desert and come back to Ronan to do whatever he was feeling like. He was going to talk about his past if Ronan wanted to hear it, less because of himself, but rather to show Ronan a glimmer of hope maybe. He knew what it was like if the own father had not a single good word about his son and he learned dealing with it, it was at least something. "I'll be right back.", he smiled, walked to the door and vanished soon after. He was trying to not get any unwanted attention, so he took some routes with a lot of people. Caelan doubted Cameron was leaving his date alone for too long, so if he wasn't just grabbing food, he wouldn't meet him. He didn't in fact, picked some sweets, basically, a small bite of everything because he had no idea what Ronan liked and made his way back. He got two glasses off a table and in a few minutes he delivered all he had promised, knocking on Ronans door.

marquis · 5. Oktober 2020, 00:18

"I'm just a perfectly fine person - maybe a bit depressed and hurt on the inside, but otherwise I'm good, I really am. The thing is, I'm trying my best to blend in but I'm glad that fate has actually allowed me to gain the upperhand", he laughed, as soon as he heard Caelan praising him in some kind of weird way - maybe he was something else, who could say that for sure? But in the end, he also was nothing more than a young man that had tried his earnest to blend in and spend his time with those his age, that he usually was supposed to despise for one reason or another, on command, because Darragh told him to. "There's nothing sweet about it, that's what friends are here for. Really, I don't want to force you to tell me anything, you can tell me something whenever and wherever you like, I'm here for you. A quiet place, somewhere far away from here would be nice, but I can't ride back home with you right about now", it was almost dreamy to think about the little bit of snow that remained in Alster until now, to lay in the icy grass and just enjoy the nightsky, before the weather got too hot again. "So it's up to me what to do? That sounds ... fairly generous of you, let me think about it and come up with something satisfying for us both, yes?" Caelan seemed to have a similar idea, as he left the decision to him.

Maybe he could see so much more beneath the stars, maybe it would be just like yesterday and he could coax something out of Caelan, like, another constellation, or a hug because he got cold, oder another night on a makeshift bed under the stars - but all of this was not meant for today, was meant for a tomorrow that wouldn't transpire until in a few months. Ronan couldn't help himself all that much, he only could sit back and relax, try his best to wait silently and wave after Caelan, who was the one to run off and get something for dessert and two glasses. As soon as the door closed behind him, the young noble wolfed down the last pieces of food on his own plate and - as fate wanted it - he suddenly felt miserable. It wasn't the wine, or even the fact that he could and should be somewhat drunk by now, it was the fact that he had proposed something to Caelan and that the other had sounded like he hated it from the getgo - or, at least his reaction wasn't favorable. Something was burning up inside of him and it probably was so much more than a stupid intuition. Should he cry? No, that sounded stupid. Instead, he bit on his lower lip and sucked in the pain, waited for it to dissipate and was pulled out of his misery by the knock on his door. Slowly, he rose again from his seat and walked over to the door, just to open it and carefully take the two glasses out of Caelans hand, let him in and closed the door behind him yet again. Ronan set the glasses onto the table, forgot about the pain as best as he could and then poured them both a considerale amount. "I thought about it - we should stay inside. That way, we can avoid running into people and have time for ourselves, plus, we wanted to get drunk and we both don't want to pass out somewhere in the wilderness without a proper bed. We can stargaze sometime else, how about it?"

Earinor · 5. Oktober 2020, 09:01

"I just told you you're more than fine.", Caelan sighed with a smile on his face. "On one evening you managed two things I already deemed impossible. And there is no need to blend in, just be yourself, I won't judge you." Of course Caelan couldn't know about the things Ronan actually hid, not at all, but still, he wasn't someone to judge anybody for embracing who he was, after all he was trying to do just that himself. He tried and often enough failed without noticing it and he wasn't as clean with himself as he would like to be, not even as much as he claimed. After all he played his role of a good son despite the fact, that he wasn't and he played his role as a Casanova, though he actually never showed interest in that. He was trying to force himself to fit in, force feelings upon his person that weren't there to begin with, there was nothing to dig up, but all he wanted was to be normal after all. But that for one wasn't something Caelan would be able to tell Ronan, since he didn't even admit it himself. "You'd take me to Alster?", he asked somewhat very happy about those words and he smiled probably pretty stupidly right now. "If you still like me when the event is over, I could just join you, you know? I'll find my father, tell him I'll be a week late..." Or he did not do that, because in the end it didn't matter and he often enough just vanished for a week or two, "... I could hang with you if you want. Show me those stars from a good spot in Alster. Or you come with me to Fhaergus for a few days, it's practically on the way." Why did he even want that after a week of maybe clinging to his fellow noble? Maybe in a week he didn't want to spend time with Ronan anymore, though he didn't think that would happen.

When Caelan entered, he set the plate with cake, cookies, cream and fruit on the table and watched Ronan pour some wine. "I didn't know what you want, so I brought some of everything.", he smiled and sat down again, after Ronan said they should stay here. Sitting on this table by the window was almost romantic and Ronan was lucky he got a room on the opposing side to the garden, having it quiet up here. Caelan looked outside, looked at the forest near the property and the nightsky starting to shimmer. There were some stars he was able to see from here and the moon as well. Caelan wasn't exactly scared to pass out in the wilderness, but Ronan would just end up cold again, probably. Caelan brought also two forks, took one of them now and eyed the variety of sweets, trying to decide what he wanted, first however he took a sip of his wine.

marquis · 5. Oktober 2020, 11:12

„Oh, am I now?“, Ronan chuckled. „Well, I just tried my best but I didn‘t think I‘d manage anything. Well, I also got you to choke on your food, so I‘ll count that as a small victory as well.“ After all, this was nothing more than a game they were playing and that it actually didn‘t matter all that much who he was, or how he acted. Caelan of Fhaergus saw nothing more than Ronan of Alster in him, a future ally and a to-be friend, not someone he‘d consider taking back to his room to sleep with. Not that Ronan did mind, after all, this was meant to go just that way - nobody cared about him either way. He was nothing more than the shadow of a person he should be, trying to rip himself free from his shackles, trying to escape and become who he‘d want to be - but even if he did, there was no guarantee that it‘d suffice to leave, to disappear. Why was he regarding Caelan as his ticket to freedom anyway? „If you still like me after the tournament, yes“, he proposed. There was no guarantee that he‘d let the man live his life freely, let alone that he‘d not hurt him with that sharp blade of his that he had marbled at yesterday. „We could go to Alster - I don‘t think embarking to a journey from Lavern to Fhaergus seems a bit ... long. Though, I‘d love to some other time“, Ronan said, with a smile on his face - why was Caelan‘s good mood so infectious? „Whatever you want, I wouldn‘t mind going to Fhaergus, though!“

Now that there were sweets at the table, Ronan grabbed the wine first, took a sip - big one - before he took one of the forks and took a bite from the cake. „I‘ve had better, but this isn‘t too bad“, he said, taking another one and looking at the blonde. Were they really sitting here, bathed in what was probably moonlight, on a small table in a secluded room? Was this really a date? Probably, but they both knew they weren‘t attracted to one another, were they? „I mean, if we want to get drunk ... we should hurry up“, and with that, to get rid of the silence, he just took another big gulp of his wine and rid himself of the contents of his glass already, just to poor himself another one. Eventually, to leave some cake for Caelan, he grabbed a cookie instead, nibbled on it - why was he indulging in all this stuff? „So, we‘re ditching your supposed date - and your friends - to eat and get drunk? Sounds fair enough to me, but ... I don‘t know what to talk about, at all.“

Earinor · 5. Oktober 2020, 12:00

"Ah well, yes, count it as victory.", Caelan smiled, after all he was the one constantly joking around and making Ronan blush, to have him fight back was only fair and he did, very well at that. "Winning the tournament, beating Cameron and me, that would be another thing to celebrate, after today I'm pretty sure we shouldn't take you lightly.", he said, Ronan was so much more than he looked and also much more than he claimed to be. Being a genius at fighting would only fit, Caelan would be careful, Cameron probably not and maybe he lost just because of that. "Hm. Making a detour to your home won't cost me much time anyway." He was going to visit if he was invited, after all if he passed the mountains at Laverns border or moved a little more north to cross from there didn't really matter and Alsters capital was close to that route anyway, as well as the estate of the Alster family as far as he remembered. They didn't hold as many events so it has been a while since he was there. Ronans parents and himself didn't seem like people wanting to have a lot of nobles around in their house. Fhaergus held rarely events too, but the reason more lay in the fact that people didn't want to cross the mountains with expensive carriages all too often.

Caelan looked at Ronan, watched him pick something from the plate and eat as if he only brought all that stuff to do exactly that. Though after Ronan had told him the cake was quite good, he did take a bite, nodded and smiled. Why couldn't he let his eyes of the noble that just sat there and ate? it wasn't really interesting. "You're probably right!", Caelan grinned, grabbing his glass and emptying it as well, only to have some more. "I wanted to tell you about me.", Caelan started, putting another bite in his mouth and slowly swallowing it. "You know... I wasn't always smiling that much, in fact I pretty much had the same frown on my face as you did yesterday." Should he really tell him this? Or should they rather talk about something less depressing, though in the end it maybe was a good story? "In fact I was always energetic and loud and my father doesn't like it, I didn't run around though to piss him off. I tried to sit still, tried to listen but in the end that wasn't good enough and when I struggled to remember something, he'd look at me as if I was the biggest disappointment in his life, which I probably am. I was getting angry a lot, started to act out, running off or getting into fights over practically nothing, things I don't even remember anymore. I broke a fellow nobles nose when I was eight and I can't even remember what he had said to me. Well whatever, the point is... there was a time where I felt rejected and not only that, but useless and dumb, as if something was wrong with me and I hated everyone for being okay and seemingly normal. But I don't anymore, because I realized that the only person thinking about me like that is my father and the only person I should be angry at is him, not me, or anyone else. I realized that appreciating somebody else is important as much as having fun and being able to joke around. When I smile or laugh, it's real, because I just want to have fun, live my life and not let my life be ruined by the disapproval of my father, I accepted the fact that he'd never love me and I do not care about that anymore. I know your problems are different, but I'm telling you this, so you see, that there is nothing wrong with you and even if it is your father saying otherwise, you shouldn't take it to heart too much. I like you, you know? Just the way you are." Caelan paused, looked away for a second and sighed. "I'm sorry if that ruined the mood." He wasn't completely honest, a father was a person in a young mans life that was somewhat important and should be someone to admire, a glimps of something oneself could become. Caelan couldn't care not at all about what his father thought of him, but he gave up trying to gain his approval and it was for the better.

marquis · 5. Oktober 2020, 16:32

“Do I get anything if I wipe the floor with that friend of yours and yourself? No, wait, I actually do. I really ought to think about what I want from you if I win. Maybe you’d do better to fear me, you know? After all, Darragh of Alster is my father and I’m horrible in physical combat, unlike him - he taught me all there was to know, but in the end, I have to fight with brains, rather than fists”, Ronan sighed, nibbled on his cookie a bit longer, before he also had eaten that up. It was true, compared to the beast that Darragh could be, he was nothing more than a fly that someone like Caelan could swat away easily - he’d still put up a fight, though, no matter how hard it would be. Pain was nothing he wasn’t used to. “Then we’ll go on a little detour to Alster, I’ll show you some of the nicest spots I know and we’ll have fun - how does that sound? Of course, you’ll have to bear with yours truly, but I’m sure that you’ll be fine.” When did Saoirse ever host an event like this? Not often and if she did, it was during the colder months, when she actually was in Alsters main residence, rather than the one close to the borders, tucked away during the warmer months to concentrate on her work and be away from all her other duties - maybe she found Darragh as insufferable as Ronan did and because of that, she fled - he wished to go with her, but usually, he was denied

Once he had taken another sip of his wine, he looked to Caelan and stabbed one of the cut fruit on their plate, marbling at it for a second before putting it in his mouth and chewing. “I’m all ears, Caelan”, Ronan mused, after he swallowed it and diverted his gaze back to his partner in crime. What was there, except seemingly endless blue eyes with a soft tint of sadness in them? “Caelan of Fhaergus? Being unhappy and frowning at everything he comes across? That sounds ... surreal, though, you already told me you aren’t always in a good mood”, the young noble spoke, knowing well enough that he was being blunt and rather, well, fast to jump from one conclusion to the next. Instead though, he listened and it felt like he understood Caelan to a certain degree, except for the fact that both of their standpoints were different ones and all he could do, found himself doing in this moment, was growing incredibly uneasy and taking sip after sip of his wine, until the glass was empty and he refrained from pouring himself a new one yet again. “You ... didn’t ruin the mood at all, really. Don’t worry about it, Caelan - I told you that I’m willing to listen to what you have to say and now that I’ve heard it, I think I understand you just a little bit better”, Ronan said, a smile on his lips, all while his brain was still busy processing what it had heard just now. “So, your father doesn’t like you? Just because you’re you? Can’t say that I don’t know that, but you’re right to not give a damn about all of this - after all, why should you allow him to hinder you, to make you a carbon copy of himself - you’re you, you know? And I like that about you, because you’re honest to yourself ... and because, after all, your smile is still genuine. You don’t let yourself get dragged down, that’s what I admire about you.” Painfully enough, this was Ronans truth - he couldn’t smile through the pain, but Caelan could and he freed himself more of his own shackles than he was willing to admit, at least it seemed just like that. “But I’m glad you like me for who I am, rather than for who I should be. And I wish I could defy my father more than I already do, but ... just give me time, okay?” Ronan wanted nothing more than Darraghs approval and love and yet he knew, was painfully aware, that he’d never get that. Not in a million years. “Otherwise he’ll break my bones, again.”

Earinor · 5. Oktober 2020, 16:58

"You don't have to be strong to win a fight.", Caelan smiled. "Though I always relied on strength, it's not mandatory to win. Your sword, it's light and allows for swift motion, you can beat me, or Cameron, as long is you don't try to force your way through with brute strength. Never try a direct hit on me or him, it'll only exhaust you, rather than us." Of course he never saw Ronan fight before, but he had seen his sword and what it was designed for. Though Darragh seemed a horrible father, he was know for his fighting talents apparently, so maybe he gave Ronan that sword, because he knew what would fit him. Blocking an attack coming from Ronan would probably be easy, but with a big sword one was slow, Caelan included and he knew that by all means he wasn't unbeatable. "I'm looking forward to it. When I'm on my way to Stenz I usually pass through Alster, but I never payed much attention and didn't leave the roads very much, so... I'd like a real tour." And the best part about Alster, it wasn't as hot as Lavern.

After Caelan had finished he emptied his glass yet again and poured himself a new one. He noticed Ronans was empty as well, so he poured him one too, before looking at the plate again and picking something to eat. Some cream with pieces of strawberries in it. As much as he loved his cold home, there didn't grow much, not in summer even, so there had to be countries like Lavern, Olette, or myriad to provide him with such things. He wasn't one for too much sugar, but fruit, especially strawberries he really liked. "I'm not dumb enough to feel fine all the time.", he joked, ignorance was bliss after all, but he couldn't ignore his father all the time. "Are you aware that you keep on smiling since we met...? are you sure you haven't done that in years? You're pretty good at it for not practicing on it.", he smiled and was watching Ronan pick another thing off the plate, putting it in his mouth, for some reason he didn't want to look somewhere else. "Hm, thank you, I could tell you why he hates me though, I'm very aware and it's stupid.", he said, after hearing that Ronan admired him for his omnipresent smile. "I didn't mean to tell you what to do, if you defy your father or not is none of my business, I just want you to, whatever he says or does, know, that you're fine just the way you are. Everyone has problems or something he can't do, be it talking to people or not remembering the rules of a stupid card game, it's fine to have flaws. Don't let your father talk you down is all I'd like you to try.", he said, tilted his head and searched for Ronans gaze, so he could look him in the eyes, smiling and encouraging. For some reason he felt the urge to reach out, put his hand over the table and lay it on Ronans. What he said sounded like a joke or an exaggeration but Caelan knew it wasn't. "I wouldn't want to be the reason he hurts you, you know him better than I do, I have it easier, because my father doesn't lay a hand on me. If I'm able to help though, you know you can count on me."Caelan smiled calmly and at least for now Ronan was free of his father, he wasn't here and he would not come later on. He wouldn't dare doing anything to Ronan as long Caelan visited him either, that he was sure of. So Ronan had maybe two weeks to actually feel good for a change, Caelan wanted nothing more.

marquis · 5. Oktober 2020, 19:03

"That's what you say, but I was taught to fight with brute strength and nothing more than that. Yes, I worked my way around that eventually, but my father didn't teach me many ... useful things, you know? He always thought that, one day, I'd just be like him - tall, strong and a horrible person, but now I only have one of this attributes", he sighed, as he grabbed a strawberry himself, shoved it into his mouth and listened to Caelan talk, his gaze fixated on him, even though he knew that they already were descending into a territory that he didn't want to be in - that this wasn't, what he had envisioned. "But I'll still try to surprise you and Cameron, so don't think I'm an easy opponent - even if that means I probably have to sacrifice my sword, but I've had worse", knowing Darragh, he had went through so many different swords already, had used brute strength to force himself through his opponents and at some point, his blade had given in, burst into pieces - something that Ronan had yet to accomplish. "You'll get one, don't you worry your pretty little head about it. I can show you my favorite spots and the old hutch that I hunker down in when I don't want to deal with my dear father." Another strawberry followed the first and his gaze drifted back to his glass, now full again.

"We both aren't, trust me", he admitted, a smile on his lips and his head already caught up in the clouds. Ronan knew, better than anyone, that the world wasn't fair, that nothing was fair and that there only were oh so many things that one could do before they had to pass on their torch to someone more suited for the job. "Trust me, I haven't. It's just ... for some reason, you bring me joy - I feel like I can be myself, even though I can't tell you everything, you know? There's some things I can't just blurt out like I gushed about my feelings, but that's about it." Caelan brought joy to him, made his life a little better and overall told him, somewhat, that it was okay to feel alive, or okay to feel like he was crumbling into pieces. Ronan, on the other hand, had his own fair share of problems, struggling to even figure out what it was that was wrong with him, struggling to find out what this life had for him - after all, he was nothing more than a stepping stone for many and nothing more than a bastard child of a desperate duchess and a vagrant from god knows were. "If you want to, I'm all ears", he responded, taking a sip of wine, listening to the preaching of the blonde that, while it was meant well, had a somewhat bitter aftertaste, that he desperately tried to ignore. "I won't, I'm trying my best. It's just somewhat impossible to not drown in his malevolence, or run away from him all the time. It's a rare sight to not have black and blue spots on my skin, but at least he doesn't leave scars", instead, Ronan was the one that did that to himself, but Caelan hadn't seen them, hadn't caught on, thankfully. "I'm not sure if you could help me, you know? I can't run away from him permanently and I can't help myself, it's ... at some point you give up, you know?" And if one resorted to that, they'd be sure to drown their sorrows in alcohol, just like Ronan of Alster did right now.

Earinor · 5. Oktober 2020, 19:40

"If you should loose, or even if not, I could train with you, if you want. I'm not one to rely on speed and wits, but I like to know my opponents, so I might be able to teach you something, if only explanatory. However, you can use me as a training dummy if you like.", he proposed smiling, trying to cheer Ronan up since they always seemed to come back to his father and that wasn't something Ronan wanted to talk about. Of course it wasn't necessary at all for him to fight, but if he wanted to approve, why not do it together? "An old hutch? That sounds..." romantic "...good." What was he thinking? It did sound romantic, but he couldn't exactly bring a girl in Ronans hutch so what did it matter? It didn't matter at all and so he should't think about it, he rather thought about Alsters nature and what to look at there, it would surely be fun.

"Well, I'm glad you feel good around me.", Caelan grinned like a proud child and took another gulp of wine, then another one, he's glass would be empty soon if he continued like that and the alcohol, though not as present as before he ate, seemed to loosen his tongue a bit. He did want to tell Ronan more if he was interested, even though Ronan still held back a few of his thoughts. "I won't force you to tell me anything, if you feel the need to talk though, you can anytime.", he reassured him once more, before thinking of his own problems with his own father. "My father had a sister, I never met her. And he has a brother, an older one at that, Dreigh, my uncle. My uncle was just like me when he was young, at least that's what I heard, he was loud, carefree and sometimes acting before he thought about what he's doing. He was a troublemaker and for a matter of fact I look very much like him. My fathers sister died, because of his rash behavior, because he put her in danger and didn't think, because he was rash. She was the oldest of the three, my grandparents loved her, her brothers loved her and when he died my father was heartbroken, while my uncle left the heritage to him, probably because he felt guilty. They don't speak very often and I'd say my father hates his brother, though he mostly keeps out of his way. Me being like him, looking like him reminds him of what had happened, that's why he can't stand looking at me. I... I only know that because my grandmother told me a few years ago. At least it makes somewhat sense now.", he explained, took his glass and swayed the red liquid inside of it, then he suddenly seemed to have a change of mind and took a big gulp, before smiling again. "Well so much for my family drama!", he laughed, wanted the mood back to something more fun, maybe they should actually play something. "You can take a break from him anytime, if you need a place to stay you know where to find me. I know we can't exactly leave, but we still can avoid our fathers as much as possible and now... we should stop talking about them! How about a game of some sorts? Did any cards lie around in this room? Or you could tell me what you usually do in that hutch of yours."

marquis · 5. Oktober 2020, 20:30

"We've known each other for, maybe two days, and yet you're here, offering me so many things that I barely can decline. Are you sure you wouldn't get bored of me? I mean, it's not that I don't want to hang around you, or that I dislike the thought of training with you, but it's just ... I'd feel like I'd force myself onto you without any real reason, you know? If this is what you still want after spending the next week or two together with me, I won't decline, but please don't be rash about these things", Ronan sighed, knowing well enough that he himself was now stuck in a mess so big, getting out of it not only seemed to be impossible, it most likely was - about as impossible, as it would be to breathe, would he keep the puppy around that seemingly was unwilling to let go of him, no matter how he twisted and turned. "Then it's settled, we're going to hunker down in the hutch and explore Alster from there - I doubt you'd want to see my fathers mansion, or my father - at least I could live without having to see him for a while." Ronan meant it, was painfully aware that his relationship with his father was horrible from the getgo and in all honesty, he envied Caelan for having a reason to be hated, for knowing all of it and stIll denying his father to have might over him - Ronan was the one who was unable to. "You have something calming about you, you know."

They both were polar opposites, getting along in a world that was neither made nor tailored for them, running away from what was obviously not the fate they'd accept, but whereas one of them seemingly was comfortable in his own skin, the other was nothing more than a hermit crab, dragged out of his shell by force and - in turn - compelled to fit in with people he didn't want to. "I will, at some point, I think", he answered, albeit shortly. Ronan couldn't make promises on that one, was unable to really tell if he'd live to see the day when he could come clean, but it also wasn't certain that he'd be allowed to tell anyone of his heritage, of the fact that he never had been Darraghs son. Instead, he took another sip of wine - downed the rest of it in one big gulp - and set the glass aside, only to listen to Caelan, who was the one to open up this time around. "In all honesty, I pity you. That's ... literally something you can't control and your father just seeing your uncle in you is wrong, it's not like it's your fault that you're who you are and your father applying values onto you that aren't there isn't the best way to raise a kid. I'm ... sorry." They both didn't have a nice life, but Ronan was keen on drowning it all and that's probably why he reached for the bottle of wine that they'd almost emptied out, put it to his lips and drank the last bit straight out of it, as if it would cure him of his pain and that of Caelan. "I can find you in Fhaergus, where you'll welcome me and I appreciate that, but don't worry, I know hot to handle myself ... but, that's enough depressing topics for now. I haven't found cards or anything else, but we're also out of wine so, I could like, go get another bottle or two and a deck of cards?"

Earinor · 5. Oktober 2020, 20:50

"You're not forcing yourself onto me!", Celan laughed, "After all I'm the one offering all those things, if anything I'm forcing myself onto you. I should be the one telling you, that you of course decline any offer I'm making. If you don't want me around that's fine." He kept laughing, just because Ronan was the one being scared he'd be to clingy, though Caelan seemed the one not getting enough of him. He'd actually rather spent the time with Ronan than alone back in Fhaergus and he wasn't up to travel to Stenz either. Alster was at least something kind of new and he liked that. "Alright, I won't meet your father then, just us two, huh?" Again he smiled, yet again it was kind of romantic, well... it would be if Ronan was a girl. "Something calming? How's that? An why are you saying that now? Not that I mind.", he kept smiling, well he liked hearing compliments.

"Thanks, I appreciate it. You know, it helped me understand that I wasn't the problem after all, I know all that, I'm myself, I am who I am and I certainly can't do anything about how I look. My father can hate me all he wants, it doesn't bother me anymore, the only thing that bothers me is the mood at home, which is why I have my own little hut, which I could show you in return, if you'd like." He really did know all of those things though they were not as easy to accept, he knew that Ronan wouldn't think of his father being the problem rather than himself, just because Caelan told him that. It wasn't easy for himself, it wouldn't be easy for Ronan, so Caelan was here to show him, that he for one liked him just the way he was. And if there was something offputting about him, then it was fine too, Caelan could deal with it and wouldn't want Ronan to change. "Sure, I'll hide here, so if you meet anyone, don*t tell them where to finde me!", he laughed again and drank the last bit of wine out of his own glass. More wine was maybe a bad idea, but his future self would deal with that. As long as he didn't puke - and he was far from it- in Ronans bed, it was fine to drink some more.

marquis · 5. Oktober 2020, 21:01

"Then I'm glad!", the black haired youth mused, as he himself was pretty much done with enjoying all the sweets on the plate, but still stole one of the strawberries away, made quick work of it and it was gone already. "Oh, but I enjoy you forcing yourself onto me, so really, it's alright - don't worry too much, yeah?" Normally he'd have pushed people away, especially if they were as clingy as Caelan was, but he didn't, maybe because he had eyes him up before they even talked for the first time - a lot, to be exact. Whenever he had found time to sit around outside, he'd stolen away a glimpse at Caelan, all dashing and handsome, just to realize that the young lad had managed to get into his head, more than he should. "Yeah, nothing more than the two of us and I guess a few hikes. I should warn you, though, I only have one bed in the hutch, but I'm sure we'll make do", he could sleep in one of the old chairs, they were comfortable anyway and they'd not kill him or his back. "Calming in a sense of, it takes my unease away, you know? Whenever you open your mouth, it feels like the world is whole and nothing bad can happen to me." But was that all there was to it?

"It's still not fair of your father to just hate you because you're you, because, well, you're yourself and you're oh so damn honest about everything you think and seem to feel - but good to know that you like to hide from your father as well, we aren't that different from one another", and after all, birds of the same feather flocked together, did they not? All of it suddenly made sense, well, not all of it but his reasoning for liking the blonde felt more ... solid, rather than just a big, old crush that everyone could have had, especially on someone like Caelan. "I'd love to see it, especially when you're kidnapping me and hiding me in Fhaergus someday!" Ronan shouldn't be excited about it, but he was and in fact, this was something that he wouldn't decline - he'd finally get to have some time alone with the fellow noble and who knew, maybe all this talk was still just him pretending to fit in with the world - and if it wasn't, he'd find out sooner or later. "I won't, that's our little secret after all", he said, as he got up - maybe a tad bit too fast - and felt like his head was somewhat heavier than before, but he seemingly ignored it and walked to the door, disappeared out of the room and made his way downstairs, back to the crowd of people to pick up what he'd promised. Alongside a deck of cards and two bottles of wine, he also dragged another bottle of water upstairs, only to give his door a soft knock and re-enter eventually. "I'm back", he laughed, despite there being nothing funny about the statement at all. Yeah, the alcohol was catching up to him, alright.

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