sinbound. [Akira & Earinor] [ENG]

Earinor · 28. September 2020, 08:30

"Are you sure that's true?", Caelan asked sincerely, Ronan didn't seem like a man one would not take serious, after all that was more like Caelans role and he for one didn't dislike it. If people were brushing him off as stupid, that was fine with him, at least he didn't have to talk about serious topics then and most Lords and Ladies lost interest pretty fast. Only with Ronan it seemed to be different, he liked talking to him. "I know we joked about you in a dress, but you know that was a joke, right? You're neither looking like a girl, nor a child and you also don't look stupid, just a little rejecting I guess." He was small and tender, but that was about it and there was nothing wrong with looking like he did. He also wasn't the smallest person Caelan knew, after all the prince was small and tender as well and if anyone looked like a girl, it was him, though the thought alone could get Caelan in trouble, so he'd better not entertain it. "If you keep going flirting like that, I might start to believe you...", Caelan let out a slight joke with his calm smile, it felt like Ronan was flirting as much with Caelan as he did with him and it was more fun than with any girl Caelan flirted with. Maybe because it was just a joke between the two of them, what else could it have been? "You're stuttering though.", Caelan noticed right away, looking at Ronan who tore his eyes off of him an just looked somewhere else. "Thank you, for listening and not telling."

"I'll get you out of your cage, one way or the other.", he promised, even though he didn't know why he'd even do that. He wasn't sure if he'd done this for anyone, or if it was Ronans eyes which looked at him as if he was his only chance of freedom left, the eyes that almost seem to give up completely, which Caelan didn't want to happen. Caelan laughed again. "You being mad is cute too!", he replied, knowing all too well that it only would infuriate Ronan even more. "You don't seem like the shy guy, actually. After all you started talking when we met and you have no problem with it now either.", Caelan noticed, looking at Ronan, he probably wasn't a bad liar in particular, his eyes just gave away his true feelings which was why Caelan kept looking at them while he talked. "Do you have an example of things you are scared of?", he asked interested. Caelan of Fhaergus wasn't scared of many things, if any. He and Cameron did so many stupid, irresponsible and dangerous things already, just because they were bored, there was almost nothing still scaring Caelan. He felt pretty safe, even when traveling alone. "If you wanna strip naked here and now, don't hesitate!", he laughed again, sent a wink in Ronans direction and rested his head on his arm as if he was waiting for the show to begin.

marquis · 28. September 2020, 15:36

„I‘m nothing more than the laughing stock, so yes, I‘m confident in saying that nothing truly takes me seriously, no matter how much I try.“ Was it the low effort he put into at least looking like he‘d care, or was it everyone else just realizing that the already slim chances of him ruling Alster dwindled with everyone second he put into defying his father, that it no longer was of any use, trying to befriend him, or was it just him, talking himself down and trying to drown himself in the murky water he imagined to be in? „It‘s the scowl, isn‘t it?“, he asked yet again, but he somewhat appreciated those words. Ronan was used to taking things with a grain of salt, but this was somewhat ... relieving. As much as he hated himself, there was no use pretending to be someone he wasn‘t - he was Ronan of Alster, grumpy and worn down, but still usable. „You‘re the one flirting with me! ... and you‘re pretty good at making it sound believable, anyway“, Ronan sighed and focused his gaze onto the flickering flames, on the dying fire that only could give him as much warmth as he was willing to take in, before it‘d die out and he‘d have to suffer in the cold that he should call his home. „I‘m not, I was just taken aback by your sudden question, that‘s all.“ He‘d try his best, that was for sure, but his best was seldom enough. „No need, it‘s what friends do, I heard.“

„I‘d love to see you try then, prince charming“, Ronan joked, still saddled with an earnest look as always and his head in the clouds. Caelan was, in fact, making it hard for him to keep his cool, to not actually burst out laughing any second, but he somehow didn‘t feel like it - it felt like pain was everything he‘d be able to really take into his system and it‘d also be the only thing he ever recognized as something familiar. In the end, Ronan wasn‘t only doomed to be alone til hell froze over and the rest of eternity wasn‘t welcoming him anymore, he‘d also be destined to live his lonely life, whether he wanted to or not, it didn‘t matter. „Urgh, I wish you being insufferable was cute, I guess“, Ronan sighed and searched for something else to fixate his gaze on, except the stinging orange flame that robbed him of so much more than just his thoughts. „Oh, I was. Couldn‘t get out a word in front of strangers a few years ago, but seeing everyone in a negative light changed it to ... I hate you til you show me otherwise.“ Caelan, however, almost seemed like he got a free pass just for being openminded and jovial. „Nice try, but I‘m not telling you my weaknesses - you‘ll have to find out yourself, if I let you, that is“ - and if he didn‘t that was also fine with Ronan. If anything, he was elusive to those around him and the whole reason for that was nothing more than pure hate that he should direct at Darragh and not most of humanity. „Yeah, nice try - but no. If you truly want it, beg for it.“

Earinor · 28. September 2020, 17:01

"Then show them who you really are. Starting at the tournament, you can show everyone what you got and I'm pretty sure you're good at talking as well, I mean real business talk. If you want, I'll introduce you to some people there and with me standing next to you, you're not the most stupid person in the conversation, right?", he laughed. He in fact knew a lot of people although he tried to avoid all those introductions and smalltalk. His father still was dragging him to one person after another, let him talk and charm some Lords and Ladies to have a good relationship with than and Caelan wasn't even that bad doing that. Though either someone liked or hated him, there was no in between. "It's the scowl, yes, so I'm telling you, try to smile, just once?" Ronan wasn't going to just because he was asked and it wasn't really that important to Caelan, or rather, it was for a different reason, he just wanted Ronan to have some fun, since he seemed like he didn't have that at all. "Maybe I do.", he smiled and making it sound believable was easy with Ronan, too easy. "Ah, okay I guess that's all there is.", he said almost as if he didn't believe Ronan, as if he thought his stuttering had a different meaning and again a sly grin appeared on his face as if he knew better already. "So we are already friends? That's great!" Ronan said it, so now there was no escaping anymore.

"Hm I guess I'm not cute then, but is my insufferableness at least somewhat attractive?", he asked grinning. Cute really wasn't an adjective that people used to describe him, after all he always was tall and strong looking. He also wasn't shy or grumpy, both of which describing Ronan and both of which being somewhat cute, for a girl anyway, he shouldn't exactly describe a guy as cute, probably. "So if you'd be more open, you'd just stop being able to talk to people? I'm not sure if this development is a positive one, but... well I got through to you and you only stuttered once, so that's a win I guess." Afterwards Caelan looked almost a little bit confused and his smile broke for a second. "You're making it sound like I would try to exploit your weaknesses, which I wouldn't. But it's fine, I'll find out I guess, but don't you come complain, when we doe something you're scared of, because I simply didn't know!" maybe he was afraid of heights and Caelan was about to take him to a mountain top, looking at Fhaergus valley from way up there, while Ronan fainted, because he wasn't able to look. Well, he would certainly find out somehow. "You want me to beg? Alright." Caelan cleared his throat, then looked at Ronan, tried to catch his gaze and again looked like a lost puppy. "Pretty please?"

marquis · 28. September 2020, 20:54

"Theoretically I'm a beast - not in the literal definition of being a monster, but moreover in making gullible people believe the untruths I can spout. In a practical sense, I'm too nervous and tense to actually accomplish a feat like that - but I'll try. I do appreciate the help you're offering me, but please, don't talk yourself down over something like this." Caelan struck him as someone confident, well-versed and very much beloved - all the things Ronan wasn't, but that was fine. He had insisted they weren't the same person and the truth was, that that was - without doubt - a good thing. Would he even want to be like his fellow noble or was all of this just an act that he couldn't see through? Had he already managed to blind himself, to force himself to believe his own lies and to think of himself as nothing more than an easily exchangable thing that had not right to breathe the fresh air, or to feel happiness? "I believe, I'll look awkward with a smile and I fear that that's the truth I have to live with", he sighed. Ronan didn't even try and had no intention to, but instead, he tried to be less tense and managed to at least get that scowl off of his face, even if for a second. "And what would you gain from charming a man? I'm sure you're aware how ... receptive the public is, when it comes to such things." Then again, he could be wrong - Caelan could be just like him, but he doubted it yet again. "Urgh, fine, yes. You can consider yourself my friend."

"Well, you are handsome. Your insufferableness kind of deflects that, so you might want to work on that", yet, he exuded nothing more than warmth and a welcoming aura that Ronan was jealous of. What would it be like to rest his head on the broad chest of Caelan of Fhaergus, if not a dream come true? Probably a sin, something that he shouldn't even consider to begin with. "No, I meant, if I opened up a bit more, I'd probably be better off at approaching people, you idiot. But the world is nothing you should just take in like that, I like having my narrowminded views, even if just for a bit." After all, it was hard enough to accept that he wasn't Darragh's son, that he was a disgrace on gods green earth and that he was simply hiding away from the public because he believed that if he didn't, he'd find himself back at square one, tuckered and worn out, locked away and bound to the ground in more than just metaphorical shackles - he was a beast and a force to be reckoned with, after all. "I won't complain, I'm old enough to know my limits. And also, you're the one that wants to fight me, so I definitely won't tell you beforehand and give you the upperhand", he hissed in the blondes general direction. Would he be as vile as to exploit him? No, but one could never be sure about that. In a worst case scenario, all of this was just for Caelans amusement and everything that left his lips had been lies. Ronans gaze fell back onto the dog that wanted to make him do all these ridiculous things, onto his pleading face and - as the blood rushed to his face - he pressed his hands against his eyes. "You can't be serious! No way in hell!"

Earinor · 28. September 2020, 21:23

Caelan was surprised to say the least, yes calling himself stupid was kind of a joke and kind of not, yet Ronan took it way too serious either way. After he had taken in what Ronan did reply he pressed the air out of his lungs and smiled again. "You're sweet.", he said and noticed that it probably wasn't the right choice of words but whatever. "I'll help you talk with people, if you want and I at least will play the stupid one, if you need help, otherwise I'll just shut up. Maybe we'll need a sign, a short cough or something like that maybe." Was he pushing Ronan too far, too fast? He wanted to help him with everything he had a problem with, his father, his general gloomy attitude, his problem with people and the fact that either people didn't know him, or were thinking untrue things about him. Why was he so eager to help him with all that? Maybe he should at least shut up for a minute or two. "I mean, if you get bored at the event or uncomfortable, find me, yeah? We'll sneak out and do something fun.", maybe that was rather what Ronan would want. "Well show me your smile and I'll tell you if you look awkward or not!", he laughed, but it wouldn't be as easy as that and it wouldn't be genuine and those smiles really tend to look awkward. "Are you scared people might think we are more than friends?", he asked, at least now it was official, the two of them were friends and that after maybe an hour of Ronans time. About what he said, Caelan doubted anyone would think he'd love a man and even if, he didn't really care. If it was true they both could be hanged for it but that needed more than just someones gossip to hold foot. "What I gain? Aren't we having fun?", he asked smiling, after all this was the most important thing.

"Maybe if I wasn't so insufferable, you'd not stand a chance against my handsomeness and I might charm you a little too much? So I'd rather keep annoying you with... whatever annoys you, I'm really just being myself!" Again he laughed, somehow feeling weird being the only one that did all the time. At least one tiny little smile would satisfy him. "The world is what you want to see in it. If in your mind everyone is trying to hurt you, you'll search for things that may look like betrayal or something else so you can push them away, if you're open minded, people might surprise you, just like I did. Tell me I'm wrong.", he said, this was his truth at least and he gave everyone a chance, maybe even two. "Ah and I guess you don't want to know any of my weaknesses then, a fair fight it will be!" Caelan wasn't exactly sure when Ronan was being honest and when he was making a joke. Did he actually fear Caelan would exploit what he knew about him? caelan wanted to believe he didn't mean it and so he kept smiling. Especially after Ronans reaction, the light of the flames dancing in Ronans face didn't hide his embarrassment very well. "I begged, now you gotta do it!", he wailed.

marquis · 28. September 2020, 21:51

He'd rot away in a basement, chained up and forsaken by the rest of the world, to finally realize that his mere existence was cause for so much pain and sorrow in his fathers life. Ronan knew, oh he was quite aware, that Darragh seemed to be fond of Declan and Declan only, as if his first son had failed all the tests he'd put him through and now his very own father was waiting for what, essentially, was the young mans execution at the hands of fate. "Sweet? What brings you to that conclusion? And why me, of all people?", he asked, more confused than he had been before. It sounded genuine, not even in a flirtatious way, but more as something Caelan wanted to use to cheer him up, to brighten his already spoiled mood. "I ... thank you Caelan, I appreciate it. I really do." His heart had sunken deep into his chest, but whatever the young man sitting across of him was trying, he did his best to help that little, miserable piece of minced meat back onto its inexistent feet. "It'll look awkward if I force it, you know. Wait for a better opportunity!" He didn't doubt that Caelan could make him smile, or even laugh, but this felt more like a competition than their promised match at the tournament - and he wouldn't be the loser in this one. "That's ... no. I'm just asking if you're aware what the penalty for these things is, that is all - and if you actually mean it." Why was he the one spouting all this old nonsense, anyway? Out of the two of them, Caelan should be the one that sought to uphold all these rules, yet, it was Ronan who didn't find them useful anyway. "Ah ... you're ... you're right."

"We'll never find out, I'm afraid - and if I knew what kept bugging me about you, I'd already have squashed it. There's something, but I can't put my finger on it", he sighed, as he watched the almost infectious grin on the blondes face, accompanied by laughter. Was this what happiness felt like? Well, he couldn't know what it felt like, but he was very much aware of what it seemed to sound like. "You're ... not. But the thing is, if you're openminded and get hurt, because you were, you start to see things in another light. And when it happens more than once, repeats itself indefinitely, you'll want to just forget it, even if that means that the world itself will become a bleak, unhappy place for yourself - but that's alright", as long as he could force himself to be alive anyway. The dark clouds that always followed him around weren't here, because it didn't matter - he only was seeing what he wanted to see and in that case it had been nothing more than the few things that he knew, rather than the things that he actually didn't recognize. "You can tell me about those after the tournament. I want to best you fair and square." That was about it, yes. His expression changed, from embarrasment to bewilderment, as his hands moved downwards, towards the few buttons of the shirt that were still buttoned up and his fingers started to loosen them. As he tossed the shirt aside, he pressed his hands onto his knees. "Satisfied yet!?" Oh, he'd beat Caelan black and blue.

Earinor · 28. September 2020, 22:20

"I... well... I just meant what you said was nice of you.", he answered, his smile still genuine, but weaker than before and his hand wandered to his neck, as if this habit could help him get past the embarrassment he now felt forming in his chest. Caelan being embarrassed was rare to say the least and it being because of something he said was even rarer. Now both of them were at a loss of words as it seemed and Caelan couldn't say he knew that feeling very well. "I'm feeling antsy, but I guess I can wait to force a smile on your face, a genuine one, I don't even have to see it, if you don't want that.", he smiled calmly and looked past his blonde hair into Ronans face. At least the corner of his mouth had moved a little upwards since they met, at least he thought it had, that was progress and Ronan did seem to have fun after all. "If I mean it?", he now asked baffled, what was he supposed to say now? "I do think you'll look very good in a dress, if that's what you're asking." The charming smile came back, though he knew exactly that Ronan didn't want to hear that as an answer. "I meant all my other compliments as well.", he added almost rushed. He did mean it, Ronan was a nice guy and he wasn't ugly, Caelan just had the feeling that whatever he'd say, it was wrong, though the obvious answer should be, that he of course wouldn't want to flirt with a guy. Somehow he went too far maybe, Ronan did seem to take him somewhat serious and... was he enjoying it? Was he really having a crush, or was that just Caelans imagination? Ronan didn't seem like a guy who easily had a crush on someone he barely knew anyway.

"I... uh... well if you do find out what's wrong with me, tell me. Maybe I'll be able to change that!", he kept laughing. Some useful criticism could only help, right? His smile got softer again, Ronan was again somehow opening up, presenting his heart to Caelan and he didn't want to disappoint him like so many seemed to have done before. "You sound like you've been through a lot, not only with your father. I understand you'd want to protect yourself and I'm honored I got to be your friend and you're trusting me. I won't disappoint you." Now he was maybe being a little too serious, but he wanted to see no doubt in Ronans face and he wouldn't want that he regretted that he broke his rules and opened up to a stranger. Now he indeed felt he was going too far with Ronan, while his eyes followed every move of the nobles hands which unbuttoned his shirt after all. Caelan didn't say anything for the simple reason that he was at a loss of words, what in the hell was Ronan doing anyway? "I uh... yes! I guess, you're a man of your word after all. You want me to check you for scars now? I wouldn't want you to get a cold though, your hair's still wet too!" That was the first thing he was able to come up with, after he had watched Ronan get out of his shirt fully and casting it aside. The heat of the fire also must have gotten to his head, his own cheeks felt warm all of a sudden and only after a few moment he averted his gaze. No, why did he even do that? There was no need not to look at Ronan, after all there was practically nothing to see, nothing he hadn't seen before, nothing worth hiding anyway.

marquis · 28. September 2020, 22:41

"I didn't mean to insult you, really. I was ... generally curious, so to speak. I know, I can come off as rude and brash, and I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable", Ronan said, as he realized that the mood between them seemed to trade in harmless fun for stiff awkwardness more than once. What was this fluctuating feeling anyway? One second, Caelan pissed him off to no end and the next, he was the most beautiful thing that he ever set his eyes on and nothing from his mouth could be a lie - it seemed absolutely impossible. "Why antsy? Because I haven't smiled, or laughed, once? Caelan, I'm the last person that would stab you here and now and rob you off your belongings, you know", and thus they both had reached a dead end, it seemed - and that was just fine with Ronan. He was used to eventually being cast aside, when he reached the end of his usefulness for one person and was exchanged for the next - the cycle of life continued, however, and he continued to fall for the same people and the same old tricks. "Compliments and fantasies aside, you know what I mean. But ... I won't rat you out, whether or not you are interested in men", he had turned the tables, thought, he had saved himself from another awkward explanation about something that he didn't even want to be part of him. It was quite alright, being shunned and eventually hanged for something like that, he thought, but Caelan was no one he wanted to actually see suffering. "But whatever it is, your compliments are nice regardless, you know?"

"Wrong with you? We both should probably fix up our act and be true to ourselves, but you're already trying that, so I should too but ... I'll tell you if I eventually find out what pisses me off so much about the great Caelan of Fhaergus and his dashing looks, guaranteed to make every single lady swoon", Ronan joked and - maybe, actually - cracked a small smile that was barely visible before it disappeared again and was replaced by exactly nothing. "I hope you won't, or else I'm going to have to correct things myself and trust me when I say that this would be anything but pleasant." What could he do to Caelan, or rather, what should he do if he proved to be nothing more than a curious rat, only out to fool him and nothing else? Would he have to try better, the moment he set his eyes upon him, or was it fine the way it was? They both were disasters, that was for certain - and right now, their independent worlds collided and broke apart, revealing too much stuff for the other to see. "But ... yes. I do have my reasons for not trusting someone easily. A friend isn't always what they act like, even if I'd like to believe otherwise." Ronan couldn't, would feel betrayed and the word "friend" had lost its value to him, completely even. It was nothing more than an exaggeration to assume he'd give up everything he still had for more genuine and actual friends, but - after all - he was still desperate for them. "Go on, feel free too - and I know, but I'm not someone that gets sick easily, either!" And that was a damn lie.

Earinor · 29. September 2020, 09:15

"Don't worry!", Caelan let out a slight laughter and shook his head. "You didn't and you weren't rude either. Saying I shouldn't talk myself down like that is just surprisingly sweet for a guy whoms frown seems so deeply edged into his face. It's not easy to insult me anyway." Ronan was thinking too much, but seeing Caelan at a loss for words really was rare and he was right to assume he did something Caelan couldn't quite handle. Though it was his fault for having his mouth run and picking words that weren't supposed to describe a man, a man he just met at that. Again he laughed. "I know you wouldn't stab me! Antsy in a way that I can't wait for you to finally smile, silly." He was thinking too much and entering spheres that didn't even came close to Caelans actual feelings. Ronan definitely needed to loosen up. "Then I'll keep going with the compliments, since you feel good about them." He knew he didn't exactly say no to the part of him being interested in men, though he didn't exactly know why himself. It just didn't leave his mouth, though he was supposed to clear the air just in case Ronan did feel something he shouldn't. A man being interested in a man was absurd at the very least, unheard of and abnormal and yet Caelan wouldn't have minded if Ronan did, just the lack of him denying what Ronan just said himself bothered him. If Ronan however was actually having a crush, maybe Caelan would have turned down his game and left him some more room to breathe, he didn't want to touch something inside of him, that he shouldn't, just to disappoint him. Ronan was fragile, he really was, and Caelan didn't want to be the one to break him. He wanted to ask him do you? But he didn't, probably because deep down he was scared of the answer and Ronan told him more than once, that he wouldn't lie to him.

Being true to oneself therefor wasn't easy and Caelan rarely was, only today he reflected on his own self so very much, just because he met a gloomy noble in the woods. He tried to save himself into a joke, grinned again due to the compliment he heard and looked at Ronan. "Every single lady and one dark-haired noble, huh?", he asked with a grin on his face and did notice the small little smile that faded almost immediately. "You smiled! I saw it!", he proclaimed happily. He was happy, maybe a little bit too excited as well. "You don't have to trust me easily, you know? I'm aware that this can be hard.", he said, still grinning from ear to ear because he reached his goal for tonight, though maybe he has been asking for more than he actually wanted to get, now that Ronan invited him to check his body. He was a little bit worried for him to get sick, but that was actually just an excuse to have him dress up again and stop this little game Caelan started himself. Was Ronan now playing with him? Taking him for a fool? Maybe he was, because the blonde stood up, didn't want to be the one to puss out and let himself back on his knees directly behind Ronan. "It's pretty dark, I need to come closer to actually see anything...", he mumbled with his deep voice, knowing all too well that his breath touched part of the skin on Ronans shoulder and neck and believing that any goose bumps appearing on his body, weren't from the cold alone. He did want to turn the tables again, though if this was a game, he didn't knew which one and what Ronans or his own goal even was. His eyes fell on the body before him, the upper part covered by nothing more than the black hair so completely different from his own. Ronan did have smooth skin, flawless, at least the parts he actually could see right now. It looked tender and soft, not as ruined as his own on some places. Was Caelan of Fhaergus getting nervous sitting here, though he had done that with so many girls already? Maybe he was just scared to hurt Ronan in the end, because he was making a joke, though was he? He didn't know why, but he reached out for Ronan, put two fingers between his shoulder blades and moved them downwards along his spine, slowly as if he was searching for something, namely if he really had no scars. His skin already was cold and as soft as it looked. With his rough and big hands Caelan was almost scared to tear Ronans skin apart and so he put almost no pressure into his soft touch. "Have you never climbed a tree and fall off, or cut your finger with a knife? Did you never slip while crossing a small creek?", he asked calmly, his voice tender and more silent than just minutes before. Caelan did have a good number of scars, though most of it would vanish in a few years, some of them would probably stay though.

marquis · 29. September 2020, 19:54

"You always find something to giggle at, don't you?", he asked. "Pay my words no mind, really. I just want you to feel alright and I'm very much aware that I could cause more damage than it's worth, but ... yeah. I like to frown, instead of laugh." Caelan called him sweet and Ronan was unable to pinpoint why. For once, he just did what society expected of him - to be truthful and caring - and yet, the blonde called it sweet, as if it were not a simple gesture of friendliness that everyone should be able to perform. "Then wait til hell freezes over, it'll be a long journey til you get what you want, after all. Better stick around and find out, you know." Ronan was overthinking - he was thinking too much about who Caelan really was and why his father had told him to stay away and he was thinking too much about why it was seemingly so easy to stare at someone and then decided that, whoever they were, they looked way too hot for their own good. Why, of all things, was he not only a wolf but also attracted to men? It felt like a carnal sin to even be alive and he regarded his own existence as such, but funnily enough, it was sort of like he ... didn't mind all that much. "Pff, please - let me hear them all, really", he should slow down, should admit that it felt weird being complimented for the most basic things but ... at the same time, it didn't feel bad. Good, even.

"Me? You have to try harder to make me swoon, really", he sighed, as he completely ignored the fact that this was nothing more than a playful jab, yet again. Was he testing the waters, now that he actually got to talk to someone that wasn't the crown prince, or was this just another stupid test of his own strength and see how long it would take until someone got bored of him? "I smiled? I'm sure you imagined that!", Ronan exclaimed and touched his own face for a second, as if he were to check if the corners of his mouth were still curled upward - they weren't, but he knew that he had been caught redhanded anyway. "Then I won't and you'll have to figure out how to gain my trust yourself, how about that?" Everything he proposed made him sound like a fool, ready to cast Caelan aside himself once he got what he desired and that wasn't much more than his body, as it seemed - but he'd never voice that, especially not now and definitely not here. "I don't mind, just look over every inch so we can get this over with." Was it that heart that revolted, or rather his mind? Once the rough fingers were laid onto his soft skin, a ghastly touch just barely grazing him, he felt his hair standing on end, his body tensed up for a second and took in the warmth that Caelan exuded. Ronan fidgeted with his own hands, pressed against his upper thighs to avoid suspicion and just let the blonde to what he desired, even if now would be the perfect time to lean into the enjoyable but light touch - though, Caelan wouldn't be appreciative of Ronan claiming that he liked the heat. "I never climbed a tree and I never cut myself, as far as I remember", he took one of his hands off of his thigh and stared at his palm. "Not that I remember", his finger were intact and as his gaze wandered downward, towards his wrist, he couldn't identify any scars either, even though he knew that he had drawn blood right there, but the cut was never deep enough to actually leave a scar behind. "I barely went outside when I was little, so no. I'm not one for adventures."

Earinor · 29. September 2020, 20:33

"The world is a better place if you find something to laugh about, or... someone to laugh with.", he smiled, still being as close to Ronan as before. He leaned forward a little bit to be able to look over Ronans shoulder, to see at least some part of his face. "You didn't say anything wrong or hurtful, quite the opposite, so I'll keep paying attention." Caelan leaned back again, looked at the pale back before him, he'll get Ronan to smile, that couldn't be so hard and the next step was making him laugh. "I won't want you not to smile in order to have me stay around though.", he said, his fingers wandering down the nobles spine stopped at the lower part of his back, just above his waistband. No scar, no blue mark, nothing, not even a bugbite. "You have quite a nice back.", he said, as if it was nothing, though he didn't feel like that, since he needed some moments to tear his gaze off of Ronan. Why was he acting like this? He couldn't remember struggling to avert his gaze ever before and why did he in fact continue with the compliments, compliments a guy like Ronan wouldn't appreciate as much as some about his character probably, but yet again, what did it matter to Caelan? Thoughts he didn't imagine ever having rushed into his brain, trivial things like Ronans pale skin, reflecting the blue light of the moon, reminded him of snow and ice, which was a compliment in Caelans eyes. His hand moving on his own, grabbing some strands of Ronans hair and moving them out of the way and over the nobles shoulder. He needed to check his neck for scars too, right?

"First I shall make you smile, then laugh and now swoon? You're asking a lot of me.", he chuckled calmly, knowing that wasn't really what Ronan was saying, but still thinking of it as funny. Ronans smile however was real, Caelan did see it and maybe Ronan didn't even notice and this now wasn't just an act. "You did!", he repeated, but maybe it needed another smile or even laughter to have Ronan believe that actually and so Caelan decided to test something. His fingers went slowly from Ronans spine upwards again and to his side, were they remained. "Are you ticklish?", he asked with an innocent voice before he started to test exactly that, he slowly caressed the skin at Ronans ribs, not using any pressure yet, maybe that was enough to have him laugh or whatever, was this still his goal? While he was still doing that he came a little closer, leaned forward and stopped next to Ronans ear. "You know you'll have to strip even more, if I were to check every inch?", he asked in a low-toned voice, adding "For someone not being one for adventures, you've clearly picked the wrong friend, my friend." Maybe that was the wrong time to talk about adventures.

marquis · 29. September 2020, 20:55

"I have neither, but it's bound to get a lot more interesting with you around anyway", he mused, knowing well enough that Caelan would be the bane of his existence one day and drag him down with him, deep below this world, somewhere where even someone like him would be able to smile an earnest smile. "You think so? And you are aware that I could insult you as much as I want, yes?" Anything was alright, Ronan knew as much - whatever he'd try, it'd be quite alright, simply because of the fact whatever he did, everyone would just mark it down as him being a hard to approach sourpuss that had nothing left but himself. "Oh, don't worry. If I change my mind and don't want you around, you'll notice it soon enough - but right now I'm content with having you stick with me, even if it's just for a little while." Loneliness was his only foe, as much as he himself was. They constantly fought each other, tried to overtake him and make him believe their foul, illusory whispers - that he was nothing more than a nuisance, that his existence was flawed and that he - of all people - should just put his foot down and end it all, as long as he could think straight and the only poison in his system were his own thoughts. "T-Thank you", his hand wandered upwards, to cover the nape of his neck, but instead, it went downward again, back onto his legs. Not a single scar on the body of a noble and yet, his muscles pulled taut and it became hard to breathe - a gust of cold air hit his exposed neck and he shivered, in anticipation.

"You have to work for it if you want to do something, no? If you don't want to, that's fine - it'll come naturally, except for the swoon part, maybe", the young noble explained. There were no scars, not a single one, even if the memory of blood dripping from his wrists and lowers arms was vivid, even if he knew that all those black and blue bruises he usually hid had healed, he could still feel some of them. A throughout beating happened, often enough and all he could do was let it happen, lest he'd face worse at his fathers hands. Nothing had helped, not the hands around his throat, not the knives in his arms, not the water in a lake - he still walked this damned earth in his wretched body, with the black ichor that the carnal sin of existence produced, etched into his very soul. "Oh, did I?", Ronan asked, as if his thoughts hadn't taken off and left him alone, left him in a darker place than before - for some reason, Caelan's voice rang in his head and pulled him right back out. "Ticklish!?", but before he could back out, jump up like a scaredy cat, he felt the calloused fingers on his ribcage, softly moving over them and the warmth felt good at first, maybe even a bit too good, before he let out a slight snort "I-I'm not!", he yelled out, knowing himself that the slight teasing made him all giddy already - fuck. "I-I-I can't just simply undress right in front of you, unless you really want to check every d-damn inch!" Caelan's low voice and the words he said felt unbelievable, felt like they'd be able to turn his brain into mush, if it wasn't already and were, without question, like hot iron against his skin - warmth pooled in Ronans stomach. Double fuck. "I-It seems I did, huh?" Oh gods, was this his punishment? And why in the world was his punishment a ball of sunshine, devilishly handsome and oh so good at confusing him even more? "Then, what kind of adventures do you even want to go on, my friend?"

Earinor · 29. September 2020, 21:26

"You have one now, you can laugh with me, you just need to want to and find something worth laughing.", Caelan smiled, almost pressing his cheek on Ronans, but instead leaning back again, looking at that tender neck of his, freed from the black hair now. "Go ahead. Insult me, give me your worse, than we'll have it behind us. Just because of that, you won't get rid of me." Another smile and Caelans breath brushing over Ronans exposed shoulder. He wondered, why had Ronan not forced him away already, why was he sitting there, letting Caelan touch him and say all those things. He did smile, but did this necessarily mean he was okay with all that? Or was this still a game, a game about who'd end this first and lost in the process, yet Caelan felt a knot inside his stomach which shouldn't have been there. "Are you cold...?", he slowly asked, noticing the shiver having run threw Ronans body and the small stutter he let out, maybe he was, that must have been it.

"Maybe the swooning comes naturally too, I'm on a good path am I not?", he joked probably being closer on the truth as he wanted to be. He was afraid he had said something wrong, Ronans mind seemed to wander off, even if just for a second. Caelan was confused to say the very least and he wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now, this never happened to him before. His fingers kept moving while he tried to reassess the situation, causing Ronan to let out a snort, well it was close to a laugh and Caelans grin returned. "You're not?", he asked, giggling and watching Ronans body tensing up, probably because he in fact was ticklish. "I thought you rarely lie!" Caelans second hand found it's way on the other side of Ronans body, caressing the same spot simultaneously with a little more pressure now. "Don't fight it, laugh already!", he said laughing himself a little. One hand was moving from it's spot now, moving in the direction of Ronans stomach, tickling him there, while pulling him closer against his own body. He leaned forward, over Ronans shoulder, after all, he needed to see his face, if he was to check if Ronan was holding back laughter. "If you knew, it wouldn't be an adventure, but maybe it involves climbing a tree."

marquis · 29. September 2020, 21:53

"Fair enough - you always know what to retaliate, don't you, Caelan?" But what was worth laughing at? His own pitiful reflection in the mirror or the way he acted around the blonde noble right now? Both weren't necessarily noble, nor were they better than others - they were, by far, just ordinary people that tended to their wounds when necessary and Ronan was someone that rather hurt himself, on top of others hurting him. "I don't feel like insulting you right now, you haven't done anything wrong to begin with, anyway", Ronan answered, simply annoyed by the fact that whatever was offputting about Caelan, he couldn't pinpoint it. Marbling at his own arm, his own wrist, wasn't going to tell him how many times or how deep he cut, so he averted his gaze and put his hands back onto his lap, hiding away so many barely visible scars from Caelan, who came closer and closer, even pressing his cheek against the cold but definitely flushed ones that Ronan called his own. "A bit. But ... you're warm, I suppose." Not that he could use the blonde as a blanket, or wanted to, but the warmth and their supposed closeness made his heart skip a beat and caught so many things in his throat, alongside words that he'd have garbled up otherwise.

"If I was a young lady, I'd be head over heels for you soon if you continue to sweettalk everything I do, so maybe", but that was about it. Encouragement and compliments felt good, but Ronan was merely seeking attention and touchstarved on top of that - he was, without a doubt, quite interested in what his fellow noble would do to him if he continued, but on the other hand, he already knew. Caelan wouldn't be interested in him, ever, and was overstepping boundaries because he had no concept of personal space - nobody liked someone rotten, down to the core, as Ronan was and that would be where the line was drawn. "I am, I am! It was a joke!", he let out, gasping for air, as he felt like someone attacked him with twice as much enthusiasm than before, as he - instead - expelled all air from his lungs and was left helpless in Caelan's grasp. Laughter escaped his throat, whereas burning touches etched themselves deep under his skin and he was unsure if he should wring himself out of the unfamiliar touch or if it'd suffice to just let Caelan do what he wanted. "I did, are you happy now!?", Ronan laughed, unable to contain himself any longer - it was genuine and all the jokes that had been cracked before were unable to break through the farce. Caelan's face was so close to his own, one of his hands on his stomach, he tensed up and his body felt like it was burning, as teardrops started to form in the corner of his eyes. "Caelan! I can't!", he laughed, unable to form a coherent sentence. "Pff ... ah- Caelan! Air!"

Earinor · 29. September 2020, 22:12

"I suppose.", Caelan answered with a smile, it was true, he mostly had an answer to everything though with Ronan he was at a loss more than once. He wondered why, looked at him as if the answer was written in his face, which it wasn't. "Is that another compliment, coming from you?", he asked. Yes, being told he hadn't done anything wrong was probably not, but coming from Ronan it seemed as close a compliment as most people would get from him and Caelan absorbed everything good he got from Ronan. Another chuckle left his throat, now Ronan was sounding like he flirted again, though he only spoke the truth. Caelans body was warm, he was used to the cold and whatever this weather was, he wouldn't describe it as that. Cool maybe, but comfortable, still Ronans skin was getting colder and Caelans didn't want to ignore that fact all too long. The fire was only able to warm party of Ronan, namely those which faced it.

"Maybe? Well I'll remember that." What was it now? Was Ronan enjoying this, was he taking the compliments as something more a friend would say, did he take it as flirting, like Caelan made it sound? Probably not and why did Caelan even ask himself these questions? He rather focused on that laughing bundle of flesh laying in his arms now, he was able to laugh after all. "I am happy now!", he proclaimed laughing himself, but torturing the young noble a while longer, he watched him gasping for air and in the end it wasn't all too different to what he had done with a girl, yet it was completely. "Gasping for air, trembling, screaming my name...! I'm quite fond of it!", he grinned but stopped moving his fingers after a few more tickles. That probably was enough jokes for a day, so he let Ronan breathe. After a few moments of silence he gently pushed Ronan into a sitting position and off of him again, grabbed the shirt which was tossed aside by Ronan just minutes before and put it over his shoulders like a blanket. He placed his hands on the nobles shoulders for just a while longer and smiled. "You're freezing.", he stated almost caring and it was true, even under the shirts fabric, Ronans shoulders were still cold. Without really putting any weight on him, Caelan stood up again, took his hands off of him and returned to the place he sat at before to lay down. "And how are you feeling now? Laughing again, after so much time?", he smirked and made himself comfortable on the ground, next to the fire.

marquis · 29. September 2020, 22:25

For one, they both hailed from different worlds and on the other hand, it was so painfully obvious that they both tried to compete with one another, to make the other understand that they thought they had an idea of what one of them was feeling like, but in all honesty, Ronan could only guess as to what the tumult in his brain meant and what his body was craving. "Coming from me, it might as well be, yes", he answered. Sadly, he couldn't muster a wry smile, or just a chuckle - it was a boring, useless fact that only was used to sum up what he just had said - yes, this was nothing more than childsplay and yes, he had meant what he said. Reading into it, even if it was just for a second longer, was pretty much useless. "Then I hope your memory serves you well." What was all this nonsense they were both spouting, anyway? Was it even a good idea to just give himself up like that and try to appeal to the public eye, to become someone Caelan would actually bat an eyelash for? Or was it something else, so completely different, that it would suffice to just try his best and ... leave it at that? Lavern wasn't cold at night, no, and yet, the water had no only seeped into his pants but also his very skin. It was an understatetement to assume he wasn't freezing, though, that didn't matter right now - it felt a bit too good, if he was honest.

Caelan was good at one thing and that was flirting, even if he didn't mean it like that - and Ronan was happy to give him that, if only because he himself was the victim of the constant barrage of nice things this literal ball of sunshine had to say and he was, one way or another, yearning for someone like him. "Good, that means I satisified you and you reached your goal!", the black haired noble exclaimed, hoping to soon be free of the others grasp, or at least his constant barrage of tickling. The words that Caelan had used rang in his ears, as if there was something wrong with them and Ronans mind was about to wander off, before he remembered that - no - they were, in fact, not flirting with one another and that Caelan wasn't comparing him to a panting, gasping girl he just had taken back to his room, no - right? "What is there to be fond of?", he gasped, somewhat out of breath, as he finally was let go off and had to exchange the nice, welcoming warmth of Caelans broad body for some gusts of cool air, tangling itself into his wet skin and hair - how annoying, but at least the smile remained on his face a little longer. Back came his shirt and back came the warm, almost burning hot, fingers of the noble that tried his best to be compassionate, but it only served to make Ronans gut feeling worse and his smile persisted - he felt good. "I should have packed something warmer, what a shame", he said, as he faced the flames and resisted the urge to lay down next to Caelan. "I ... it doesn't feel bad, you know?"

Earinor · 29. September 2020, 22:53

Compliments were flying all over the place today, but Caelan couldn't say this wasn't a normal evening for him, though... he usually sweet talked girls and not fellow noble men. It also had felt differently and yet Caelan wasn't thinking about it too much, maybe it was just because Ronan was in fact someone creeping into his heart after so little time, because he needed help and Caelan always was good at protecting people and if it was only the cold he fought with the fire, or Ronans mood, which is why he got him to laugh. The blonde crossed his arms behind his head and looked at the stars again, the hot fire on one side and a cold breeze on the other, all of a sudden he felt different and only now he felt his heart beating slightly faster, although he didn't have to use any strength to hold Ronan in place a little while. His thoughts wandered, tried to grasp something but couldn't. This was most curious and somehow he didn't feel like talking too much anymore. He solely turned his head and looked past the flame to Ronan, checking if he was putting back on his shirt, he wouldn't want to be the reason Ronan was sick the entire course of the event.

"It was almost too easy to make you laugh, I only needed one single night.", he smiled and noticed Ronans mouth still facing upwards, so it didn't seem to only have been a physical reaction. He chuckled again, yeah, what was there to be fond of? It was a joke but still he kind of liked it and he also liked the sound of his own words. "Maybe I like hearing my name out of your throat, while you tremble and falter, begging for me to do as you want. Maybe next time, I'll savour it a little longer.", he calmly hummed, smiling in Ronans direction and though he didn't actually see him from down here he asked: "Are your cheeks getting red?" Teasing him was fun, flirting with him as well and it felt even more natural than usual. What he did say, what compliments he made, he meant them and it wasn't hard to come up with them or force his mouth to speak the truth. "You're still cold? Maybe you should get rid of your soaked pants after all and this time I'm not after looking for scars. And... wait..." Caelan forced himself up on his feet again, moving to his horse and getting his coat. Passing the mountains without it was cold even for him and getting out of Fhaergus always required taking some mountain pass. With his coat he came back to Ronan, crouched next to him and handed him something actual warm. "Your reward for laughing that hard. You've beaten even me to it."

marquis · 29. September 2020, 23:09

On one hand, he didn't feel like he deserved any of this, on the other, he knew that Caelan only wanted to help, that he was trying to make him relax and not be as uptight and tense anymore. Ronan knew, all too well, that he didn't act like the people his age but like an old, stuck-up man that had a knack for making enemies, rather than friends - but that couldn't be how he wanted to live his life, or could it? "You struggled quite some time, though - so not as easy as you might think it is", the youth said with a smile, still on his lips and his gaze fixated on the dancing flames in front of his very weary eyes - was it just him or was the world blurry already and sleep catching up to him? "What's next? Are you going to actually kidnap me and drag me back to your room at the event, just so I can tremble and falter beneath you and whimper your name, beg you to put your hands back onto me? Caelan, you sure do have some wild fantasies", Ronan remarked and got back to putting his own shirt on, to hide more of his skin than he needed to, but to stay warm and stop dragging himself from one death pit to the next. He'd love to be like Caelan - uncaring, daunting and unaffected by the cool night air that surrounded him, but alas, he wasn't. Once he had put his shirt back on, and as he was about to say something, his words got stuck in his throat. "No they aren't!", he yelled, as he pressed one of his hands against them to check and - yes, they were warm, but there was no way Caelan would have seen that. Instead, he wanted to get up and just look for a suitable place to sleep instead, but again, the blonde bested him to something and now was dishing out viable advice.

"You better keep your eyes off of me!", he hissed, as he got back onto his feet and dragged himself to where his boots were, picked them up and - halfway - met Caelan, who handed him his sturdy, warm coat that probably had seen so much more of this world than Ronan ever did and that - most likely - smelled like Caelan. So damn much. "I ... thanks", he chuckled, as he took the coat from him and threw him over his shoulders, before he brushed past him, set aside his boots at the tree that he had left his horse at and, with one last glare in complete darkness, started rummaging through the saddlebags before he found another pair of pants, not soaked through. In one swift motion, he got rid of the soaked fabric, almost glued onto him and ripped the towel from before off of the branch above his head, to at least rub some of the remaining water off of his legs and some areas of his stomach and ... wow, this was, in fact, embarrassing. A loud sigh escaped him, as he put the fresh pair back on and, as he set aside the towel and threw the other pair of pants over the branch, made his way back to the fire, where he sat down, bevore draping Caelans coat over his shoulders and partially his head, cuddling into it - it was warm and it smelled like him. "You know that you don't have to be as nice to me, right? You could have just let me freeze all night, but ... thanks, Caelan", Ronan mustered, with a small smile on his lips. God, only now he realized how tired he was.

Earinor · 29. September 2020, 23:38

"Well, you sounded like it'd take me a whole year to make you smile, now I made you laugh and you still have a grin on your face. It suits you, you know? It doesn't look awkward.", again he smiled and his voice got softer, softer than it probably should. Enough with these jokes, he had fun flirting with him and should stop now and still he kept going, while only saying the truth and feeling warmth growing inside of him, when he thought about that smile of his. He hadn't imagined making someone happy could warm his own heart so much, or wasn't that it? "Me having some wild fantasies? You were the one just spouting that one, but it's entertaining, I give you that." His hand back onto Ronans body, was either of them really looking forward to something like that? It was one stupid night they had fun with flirting, being silly and eventually laughing together, which was only possible by doing what Caelan did. He reached his goal, didn't he? Of course he wanted to stay friends, maybe keep teasing Ronan with the thought of him wanting Caelans hands back on his body, but that would be about it right? He laughed a little when Ronan denied his cheeks being red, maybe they weren't, but the reaction came almost too sudden and Ronan needed to check himself.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to peek.", Caelan promised and meant it, there wasn't much to see anyway, nothing he couldn't see every day in the mirror, though Ronans legs surely looked different, thinner probably and... well it didn't matter. Caelan handed Ronan his coat and walked to his own horse one more time. The saddle was already being sat aside, but he took the blanket from it's back. His horse as much as he himself was used to the cold and didn't need it, so he used it to build a kind of bed for Ronan. He lay out the blanket on the ground and put the towel Ronan gave him before to dry his hair, under it as a pillow, while he kept his gaze at his work, instead of looking in Ronans direction while he changed his pants. "Now you're even chuckling!", he noticed, it really did suit him and he seemed to feel better than the moment they met in the woods nearby. After Caelan was finished he moved back to his own little spot and lay down again, crossing his arms behind his head a before and briefly looking at Ronan when he came back. "It doesn't bother me... being nice I mean.", he smiled and nodded at the supposed bed he prepared. "That's... also for you, if you want." Was he doing too much? But Ronan only said that after he already prepared a more comfortable place for him.

marquis · 30. September 2020, 00:14

"Did you think it'd be that much of a challenge? Aren't you holed up in Fhaergus in a few months anyway, with no chance to get out until the snow melts? Thought so", he laughed and unfortunately, that'd be the truth. Caelan was the only one of all the lords that couldn't attend some of the events all year around, simply because of Fhaergus being stuck behind some snowy, cold mountains that were impossible to cross during the colder months. That, for one, meant that he was also unable to leave his beloved homeland for some time. "Glad to entertain, that's at least something I seem to be capable of, as it seems", Ronan said while he cuddled with the coat a bit more, as if it was something special he shouldn't even have wanted, but instead, he hadn't even asked for it and Caeland had decided that he needed it to not die from the cold that he so obviously seemed to be suffering from. "I mean, we both are talking about some weird stuff tonight, don't you think?", he asked, while he stared at the flickering flames, trying their best to confuse him and send him mixed messages. While he watched the blonde rummage, or rather heard him do just that, he stayed there and wondered what it'd be like if he wouldn't have to be afraid to just spout nonsense and eventually confess that he, indeed, had a minor crush on a man as grand as Caelan.

"You better don't!", was what he had said as he took the saddle off of his own horse and with it, all the saddlebags that were ridiculously heavy, seemingly filled to the brim - and all that was left was him, trying his best to get all of this to work in tandem like it should. Whether it was the hopelessness of the situation, once he had finally freed his horse of its baggage or if it was just the water, pushing and pulling him around in one way or another, it didn't matter. Ronan was dressed and had made his way back to their little fire, where Caelan had prepped an improvised bed and ... he couldn't help but chuckle, again. "Yeah, and you know why? Because you're the one saying this is all in good faith and nothing more than a simple, platonic act but in all honesty, you keep acting like you're actually waiting for a chance to get your hands on me", he laughed, as he pulled the coat a bit tighter around himself to ward off the next cool breeze. His eyes wandered, before they settled on the makeshift bed and he stood back up, laid down on it and looked at Caelan, before he grinned at the fellow noble. "Of course being nice doesn't bother you but ... I'm surprised nothing of this bothers you. Though", Ronan made some room for the other man. "If you want, your little makeshift bed can fit the two of us - I'd feel horrible for having you lay right there and not giving you anything but taking everything from you." Was this just an excuse to get closer to Caelan? Of course it was.