[2er RPG] The Shepherd [ENG]

"You should thrust my mind out the window more often", Marcus answered with a wink and a smile.
He turned off the tv and got up, stretched and pulled Logan to his feet.
"The shed it is."
He pulled out sime boxes they could go through. The chaos was annoying, but Marcus just needed to turn his back to the shed, to be able to ignore it.
"Why do you have so much stuff?!", he complained.
He himself just brought his gigantic film collection and his collection of film props. It was a miracle that all of that had previously fit into his office. But that and a bag of clothes was everything he had and more than he needed. He could live with only the clothes. The whole movie thing was just a useless hobby he picked up to kill time. Searching the internet for props or rare dvd covers distracted him.

"I have so much stuff, because I had an actual flat with furniture and all in it?", he replied laughing and looked into the shed. "Hey, my motorcycle.. I almost forgot about it...", he smiled and his eyes sparkled a little, getting it out of there. "It still needs some repair, but well... why haven't I thought of this in a while?" He always liked fixing stuff and he had this motorcycle for a while now. It was kind of important to him, although it was old and broken. He fixed it like a thousand times and every time he got it running again. "I should pick up this hobby again... what do you think? I should also have my tools in one of those boxes I think."

"Good luck finding them. And don't you dare taking Dylan in a trip. He's too young for that. And I mean it!"
Marcus didn't even wonder how that motorbike made its way in there. He was to busy keeping the boxes stacked up in the shed. Logan just pulled the bike out not thinking about the concept of physics and gravity.
"Hey! I found your tools!", he said, re-stacking the boxes, " at least it's written on the box."
Marcys carefully pulled the box out and put it next to the bike.
"But before you start with that, let's bring these inside, shall we?"

"Maybe I could take you on a trip!", he smiled and then helped Marcus bringing the boxes in. "You know... When I was about 15 I bought this, with all I had. And everytime it got tough at home and I needed a break, I would drive off... just somewhere, anywhere." He smiled, taking the boxes inside. "But I'll help you first. It's not that important to fix it now. I'll do it when I have time. You should pick up a hobby too." They had really a lot of stuff stuffed into that shed, Logan didn't even know what was inside these boxes. "And that's all my stuff? I'm sure there is something from you too, right?"

"I learned how to shave a sheep when I was fifteen. Got expelled from school and my aunt forced me to work for farmer Zachary next door. Which was like a thirty minute walk."
Marcus managed to stack the boxes in a way so they wouldn't fall on their heads.
"I have stuff in here. See these two boxes? Both are filled with movie props. Never wondered, why there where none in the house? But the rest is all yours. I'm pretty sure you didn't follow the rule of downsizing. Everytime you move you should get rid of stuff you haven't touched in years. If you need it later, you can get a new one. Well, it looks like you've never downsized in your life..."

"You what?!", Logan asked surprised and shook his head. "I think I didn't even see a sheep that close before...." He helped sorting the boxes a little, although Marcus put them in another place seconds later anyway. "Well, I didn't know the house comes with... everything? Dishes and so on... and why throwing that away? It is peffectly fine. Also my videogames... I'll find time for them....What else is there?" He looked through the stuff. He had tried many things like climbing and stuff. And he had bought many things for all the hobbies he tried. He only sticked with his bike though. I guess we can throw some of that away, or gibe it someone who uses it."

"The perks of growing up on a farm, my friend. I know how to milk a cow, too. And I'm pretty good at horse riding."
Marcus tried to organize the boxes by their contents, but that was impossible. Logan had put everything in every box, no system, no markers on the outside, just complete chaos. How was it that they fit together that good?
"I guess we found your project for the next days. Organize your stuff! This chaos is unbearable."
He gave up on the boxes inside the shed and got out of there to concentrate in the two he got out first. He ipened them and spread the content all over the grass.
"Now sort!", he demanded, "three piles: keep, get rid of, open for further discussion."

"What? But I have to work next week again... now I have to work here too?", he asked and sighed, watching how Marcus emptied two of the boxes. "Now it never fits in like it did again!" But that was the point obviously and Logan sat on the grass to see what was there. Every little piece he touched remembered him on somethinghe tried for line a month but still. Almost everything went on the keep pile, except some things he didn't know the purpos of and some pots they didn't need becaue they had already enough in the kitchen.

"We clearly have to work in your downsizing technique", Marcus sighed looking at the piles.
But for now he would deal with it as it was, just to not stess out about the chaos. He put the things Logan wanted to part with aside and evaluated them while doing so. Some stuff they could gift to different organizations, some was straight out trash. Together they sortet out the small maybe-pile and finally they put the keep-pile back into the box. At least they managed to get rid of one box. The refilled one was put next to the glass door leading inside.
"Look. If you want to keep something, you have to use it. If you haven't used it in the last six months, you can get eid of it. If you're not planning on using something in the next three, get rid of. Some exclusions are seasonal decorations and seasonal clothes, but that's it, you hear me? Whem was the last time you used this climbing stuff? .... yeah, no. That's gotta go. You're not using it. You don't need it. Trust me."
Marcus was mercyless. He was actually pretty good at minimalizing stuff. Maybe because he had to prioritize everything in his head on his own since his brain wasn't able to like it should.
"Okay, let's finish for today. My head is exploding", he sighed after an hour of going through Logans stuff and always telling him to get rid of it.
They cleared out seven boxes and reduced them to three and a half, cleanly stacked beside the garden door. The others were sortet by trash and gifts.
Marcus got back inside, pulled his prescribed painkillers out of a drawer and popped two of them with a glass of water. He was used to these headaches. It's like you use your computer to extensive. It overheats and eventually stops working. Marcus' brain was constantly working too much therefore overheating which resultet in painful headaches. It was all about the input. If he managed to keep that low, the headaches weren't an issue. But going through these boxes with all the stuff inside, all the chaos made it worse. He had to take in new smells, new sensations, new visuals. Some stuff he even picked apart mentally and fixed them back up, ending up telling Logan, that it was broken.
They had a bit less than an hour untill they had to pick up Dylan from training.
"What are planning to eat today?", he asked Logan, after downing a second glass of water.

"Six months? That's so unfair... I was so caught up with my new job and then I met you and soon after Dylan came along... I had no time for things like that...", he complained but did what he could and let Marcus throw a lot of stuff on the ged rid of pile. After an hour Logan could see how Marcus couldn't concentrate well anymore. Logan cleaned up the rest and then followed Marcus inside. He took his painkillers and sat down. Logan sat down beside him. "Well we could go shopping and cook something today. The three of us, or me and Dylan if you need a break. I can also get him if you want. And we could just ask what he would like to eat.", Logan smiled. "Except Pancakes...", he added laughing and gave Marcus a kiss. Logan was sure it wasn't about the taste or anything, the pancakes where the first thing the two did together and they formed a kind of connection. With pancakes as symbol. Logan smirked a little about that.

Marcus flicked Logan against the forhead.
"I already went shopping, dummy. You were the one putting it away, while I was caught up with the crafting stuff. And on wednesdays, dinner has to be ready when Dylan gets home. He needs to shower before going to bed and he comes from two hours of sport. Trust me, he needs food when he comes home. He gets terribly hangry, you know. He got that from his mom. I'd to always carry a candybar around when I was with her. She got furios very quick."
Marcus sighed and massaged his temples a bit.
"Don't we have leftover from yesterday? We could just eat that. Less work. Dylan likes it. That works."
At this point one could tell that Marcus' brain was pretty much melting. One or two word sentences were an indicator for that, as well as rambling about unnecessary things. During an investigation he once startet talking about how dumb some decisions of certain historical figures were. Completely senseless. It was a defense mechanism. Thinking about useless stuff he already knew stopped him from learning new stuff, stopping his brain from overworking. And he knew a lot of stuff.

"Ouch...", Logan complained and held his forehead. "Well, I'm kinda out of sync when I'm on vacation." And he wasn't home as often as Marcus was. But Marcus didn't think of the pasta either, else he hadn't asked what to eat. An indicator he was really exhausted. "Okay, then we have an hour now, until we need to get up again." Actually, Logan took off to be here for Marcus and figuring out with him what to do about his brother. But Marcus didn't even touch the topic and tomorrow was Logans last day off. But now was not the right time to ask about it. And they had da Theme Park thing all planned out already...
"Okay, how about you laying down on my chest for a few minutes and resting? You look like a zombie again.." Logan pulled Marcus close and wrapped his arms around him. He needed some peace now.

Marcus sighed but didn't protest. He let Logan pull him in, closed his eyes...

A loud scream woke him up. It wasn't a real one, at least not today, but it got his heart pumping. He sat straight after waking up. He didn't know, whose scream it was but he that scream. It haunted him for years at this point. It was female and besides the loud noise, there was nothing else in this dream. He didn't recognize the voice either.
Marcus got up and went to the kitchen to pull himself some water. He didn't even realize that he fell asleep. Twenty minutes. That's all it took to get him to sleep and wake him up for days again.

Logan held Marcus in his arms and drifted of. He suddenly woke up when Marcus sat straight and went to the kitchen. "That nightmare again?", he asked, following Marcus. He was a little bit worried, but there was nothing he could do. "I'll get Dylan or at least I drive... I don't want you to sit infront of a wheel right now." Marcus knew he could talk to Logan if he wanted, so he didn't ask about it. Instead he gave him a short kiss and smiled. He just wanted to look at him for a second and calming him down a little.

Marcus' head sank down onto Logans shoulder. Not for the first time he asked himself why Logan was still here. Why he kept up with Marcus' shit. But there he was, standing in front of him. Like a rock. A big one.
"Thank you", he said with a low voice, "I don't know what I would do without you."
His arms suddenly wrapped around the other man and held him close.
"Just the scream. Again. I don't remember anything else, if ther was anything."
That was all he said about the dream. There was nothing more to say. There was never more than just that scream.
Marcus sighed. He needed to get his shit together. There were two killers on the lose, a family trip ahead and a family reunion to plan. All his emotional problems needed to wait. So he simply put them on hold. It wasn't a good tactic to deal with it, he knew that, even before Dr. Rosemary told him. But he needed to function and until now that was the only way he could do that. Until he found a better solution, this was his method.

The weekend came, and so did the trip to the theme park. Kyles parents allowed him on the trip. Marcus had pulled the information of the security system and memorized them. He told the boys where to go if they got lost. He marked it in the park maps he gave them. He also gave Dylan a phone with Logans and his number on speed dial. Kyle got their numbers, too. Dylan listened to every word his father said.
They never got separated that day. Everyone had fun. Marcus didn't even puke on the rollercoaster! He'd skipped the Ferris wheel though. Hights where never his friend. Usually people fell and died... He successfully ignored what could happen to the boys and Logan on that thing so far above.

And then they had to face reality again. Marcus got to know Logans sister and she seemed able to look out for Dylan. And the boy said he liked her too. Marcus specifically asked him, if he would mind her as a babysitter. He said no. But then he asked why.
"You know I have to work again", Marcus answered, "and I don't want you to be alone. I probably have to go on a trip for a few days."
"Is this about what uncle Francis told you?"
Marcus bit his tongue.
"You know that your uncle is a bad man, right?"
Dylan nodded.
"Granpa said, he was a mistake. That he didn't do it right."
Marcus pulled Dylan in his arms.
"Sshh. Don't talk about that. Your granfather and your uncle are bad people. I need to go to New Orleans. That may help me to get one of them. Just a couple of days. I'll be back in no time. And Logan too. You okay with that?"
Dylan nodded and crawled back under his blanket.
"But you need to get me a souvenir!", he demanded, "and I don't complain if I'm allowed to play Logans games."
Marcus chyckled.
"You have to ask Logan, but I'll say yes. If he does."
Dylan grinned and hugged his plushie.
"And I want more pancakes!"
"Enough! I leave the recipe, okay?"
The boy nodded again and let his father leave.

The next day, Marcus packed his bag for the trip. The tickets were ready, everything was set. He quickly wrote down his pancake recipe.
Dylan sat on the couch watching Beyblade. Marcus promised that they would be back on sunday. With souvenirs.
"Okay buddy. Behave yourself and don't run off, okay? If you ask nice, maybe Kyle can come over."
Dylan hugged his dad tight, than he jumped from.the couch and ran towards Logan to hug him as well.
It was horrible leaving the house, knowing that he would be far away from his boy. It made him nervous, but he threw his bag on the back seat and sat on the passenger side. He didn't drive if he didn't had to. One of his perks.

The trip was better then Logan expected. Marcus went out of his way and seemed to have fun. Later on Logan had took the boys for a few other rides, so Marcus and Leila could talk. Leila also liked Marcus and Dylan and she realized how happy Logan was with them. She also rode some attractions with the boys, she always liked stuff like that and she probably had the most fun on this trip.

Marcus told Logan he was okay with her watching Dylan. Leila was a writer, she wrote children books. She was not famous or anything, but she earned enough for herself and she had time to stay at their home with Dylan, whenever they needed her. She didn't know about Marcus past, not everything, she only knew what she had to.

Dylan took it better then Logan expected, he trusted them and that they would come back, safe and sound. Logan hugged him tightly when he came over.
"You'll take care of Daddy on the trip, right?", he asked him, Marcus couldn't hear it.
"Yes of course. And you take care of my sister, okay?"
"Sure!"
"Ah and just so you know... she had 4 younger brothers... she'll know when you are up to something.", he grinned and tickled Dylan a little, then he let him go. Soon after they drove of to pick up Andrew and then drive to the airport.
Logan had convinced their chef to let Marcus work on this case and they had everything planned out. They also had their guns with them, but they both took them away for now, so Dylan wasn't scared.

"They'll be okay." Logan said and took a short look at Marcus face, then concentrated on driving again. "You want to call him, right? Don't... or I'll have to confiscate your phone. You can call when we are in New Orleans. It's been only a few minutes, they are okay."

"I don't wanna call him", Mrcus answered, "I wanna facetime him. Make sure he's okay."
His head leaned against the seat, his eyes glancing outside the window. Without breaking this pose he pulled out his smartphone an threa it on the backseat.
"Hey!", complained Andrew, but he got no answer.
Marcus zoned out, scanning through his mental database. He needed to shut that part of him down, his emotions werent allowed to matter now. He left them at the door. He would get them back at the door. Now he needed to be a cop. A hunter. A bloodhound.

Stan had sent him everything he had about Louis Ackerman, Marcus' grandfather. Marcus memorized it all within seconds. The man sounded like a normal person who went into hiding because of the horrible fame of his son and therefore his name. Understandable. He wouldn't like the family reunion Marcus had planned.

They drove rather silent, until they reached the airport. After they got their tickets and checked in their luggage, they sat down in a coffee shop to wait for their flight. Travel restrictions were no problem for them, they didn't have to give up their guns or anything.
Marcus zoned out again and Logan stood up with Andrew to get something to drink. Logan didn't want to talk to him infront of Marcus, that was the true reason, Marcus knew probably.
"So, what do you think about his grandfather...?", Logan asked the other Agent, he was a profiler, Marcus and Logan were not. And Logan wasn't even as smart as Marcus, he guessed he was the muscles guy of the three of them? He wasn't stupid, but he couldn't compete with Andrew and Marcus.
"I mean... his father always wanted to prove that monsters are made, not born, right? Could it be, because he himself was made to one? I don't know..." That was the reason he asked for Andrews opinion.

"Well", said Andrew and sighed, "There are lots of theories out there about 'monsters' are created. It's a complicated combination of environment, upbringing and overall psyche of the subject. A genetic root for psychopathy is not yet out of focus. Look at it this way: you had a stable family life growing up, now you work for the law. Marcus grew up in an unstable environment with lot of violence and he still works for the law. Francis Ackerman was trained to be a killer from the start. He never had a childhood, never learned how kids learn. One might say, Ackerman never had a chance to become something different than a killer. We don't know about Marcus' father though. He's intelligent and has questionable moral standards. But there are some: he puts science over the law. His killings are experiements. How far would you go to save your family? Would you take a life to save another? I can't tell you if Louis has something to do with this. He may, he may not. I need to talk to him to be sure. Right now it's fifty fifty."
He glanced over to Marcus who just sat there, arms crossed, gace somewhere just not here.
"How is he?", Andrew asked.

Logan had a bad feeling about Marcus' grandfather, but maybe he was mistaken. He sighed, following Andrews gaze to his boyfriend. "He was good on the weekend. We went to a Theme Park with Dylan, a friend of his and my sister. He seemed to have fun, but now... and even before. He's okay when Dylan is around, because he can focus on caring for him, although I think he just doesn't realize what is going on inside him. You saw his hands, right? And now he can either focus on his twisted family, or his son who is all alone. He can choose to worry for either and I think it drives him crazy. I'd rather had him at home, but we may need him, and he would go crazy there too, only I wouldn't be there to watch out for him." Logan looked back to Andrew. "We need to find his father and then his brother." He was determined, he wanted to help Marcus. With them out of the way, maybe Marcus finally could have some peace in his life.